Lost and Found
by PaperGanstah
Summary: The Leviathans began to take over as soon as they escaped from the confines of the angel's ruined body. Team Freewill packed up and left the lake, trench coat in tow. They didn't know what they were leaving behind for monsters to once more consume. C/D
1. Lost and Found

**Post season 7 episode 2. The Leviathans began to take over as soon as they escaped from the confines of the angel's ruined body. They traveled through the water systems even as the remains of Team Freewill packed up and left the lake, trench coat in tow. But what they didn't know was that the Leviathans had not simply used Castiel as a means to transport their bodiless voices into the water. They had something else in mind… **

**Hey! Now that I am back at the keyboard, the ideas are not stopping! I have two stories still up and being worked on, but I couldn't resist adding this next one. Enjoy and feel free to review and let me know what you think, I will be sure to reply in the next update!**

**-Paperganstah**

"Lost and Found"

_He couldn't remember much. Left alone in a cold building and awakened to the eerie beeping of the monitors, his brain now forced itself to try to remember something. Anything at all. He remembered to breath and did so, his lungs burning with the feeling of disuse. A hand ran through tousled brown hair until the wires attached pulled taught on sensitive skin. The breathing mask was the first to go. He then sat up and gingerly peeled off the black markers from his hands, his arms, his legs. Needles provided little more difficulty as they fell to the floor one by one and left behind a few red drops of blood on the now freed limbs. Bare feet found the floor below them as he wavered and made his way out the door. Walking became easier, as did breathing. He made his way through the hall, sensitive hearing still registering the beeping behind him and silence that lay ahead. Machines sparked out of their now exposed fuses. A battle had happened here; something a confused mind refused to contemplate beyond tensing up muscles, ready to fight. The doors opened ahead and sunlight poured over his chilled body as he made his way back into the rest of the world, unharmed for now._

Dean's heart almost stopped when he saw the sodden trench coat in the water. Broken reeds tangled around buttons and other green lines crawled out of pockets as they anchored the cloth in the lake. _Castiel. _Dean lunged into the water and ignored the cold that attacked him as water soaked through his own clothes. He gripped at the sleeve of the coat and the ties waved from the force of Dean's muscled body as it forced the material away from the stubborn grip of the lake. Dean almost smiled for a moment. Castiel never tied them either. The coat always was worn open, just as much a part of his friend as the loose tie or frequently confused look in his blue eyes. Finally free from the water, the coat dripped in the hunter's hands. It was all that was left.

Dean looked over the lake, but no other sign of his friend could be found. He was gone. Sam and Bobby watched him as he stood there quietly. They were waiting for the outburst. For Dean to scare the birds out of the trees by yelling 'son of a bitch' as loud as human possibly. Or for him to punch whatever inanimate object was within his vicinity. He was supposed to do something. Instead Dean was uncharacteristically still. The coat was folded and placed in the trunk of the Impala as the three men drove in silence to Bobby's old house.

Days later and beer in hand, Dean sat on the couch as he ignored the vehement whispering of Bobby and Sam in the other room. Sure, they were upset about the loss of their friend, but it was Dean who had the real connection with the angel. Now that said angel was gone, he began to realize just how deep that connection was. Dean repositioned his broken leg as he watched the daytime news.

"Come on Sam. I know he is upset, but Cas wasn't really himself anymore. Have you been sleeping this whole time? The idgit unleashed things that should have stayed put."

"I really don't think he knew better. Look, Cas wouldn't try to hurt us."

Bobby took a swig from his nearly empty bottle. "Well he sure did." He glanced at Sam as the younger man shook his head at him, refusing to meet his eyes. "Even Dean couldn't forgive him…in the end. We spent all that time trying to fix the world and it looks like Cas went and decided to screw it all up again."

"You really don't get it, do you? Dean's always like that when he's mad. No matter what I have done to him, Dean would always eventually forgive me. He does that for the people he loves." Sam glanced at the other room, watching as Dean turned up the volume on the latest news cast. More unexplained deaths obviously Leviathan in nature. "I bet Dean is killing himself over not forgiving Cas when he had the chance."

Bobby sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly. "I know Sam. It's something he's gonna have to get over soon. Those Leviathans sure ain't taking any time off to mourn the death of an angel."

Sam nodded and brought a sandwich in for Dean, eyeing his brother. "Hey man, you got to eat something."

"Haha Sam, I should have known that the first thing you did when you got here was to get in the kitchen and do a womanly thing like make a sandwich." Dean cracked his brother a cheesy grin as he wolfed down the sandwich.

"Uhhh Dean, are you alright?"

"I've been better, but we have got larger things on the menu than my current feelings." Dean stretched and set the crust of the sandwich back in Sam's hand as his brother shook his head and threw it away in the kitchen garbage.

Sam fixed Bobby with a pinched look. "He ate it."

"Damn, if Dean is pulling his 'I'm fine' shit then we'd better keep a close eye on him. It's never a healthy sign."

Sam nodded as he heard Dean's phone go off. "Dean aren't you going to get it?"

"What, do you think it's a Leviathan on the other end? Nah just let it ring."

Sam rolled his eyes and answered the phone. "Hello?"

"_Hello, is this Sam? Sam Winchester? It's Martin."_

Sam looked surprised. "Hey Dean, it's Martin Creaser!"

"Creaser?" Bobby glanced up at Sam.

"He's a hunter. Helped our dad out of a lot of sticky situations. Hand over the phone, Samsquatch." Sam nodded and passed it over to Dean.

"Hey Martie, what are you up to now, you son of a bitch?" He heard a chuckle on the other end.

"Hey Dean, same bad mouth as always?"

"You know it. Another monster at the nut house?"

"Not sure. A few bodies have been recovered, organs missing. I saw them drag one body out and it was…strange. Looked like something had ripped the organs out and possibly ate them. My roommate keeps freaking out about them, like he know something."

Dean grinned. "How cute, bunk buddies or butt buddies?"

"He's new. They found him wandering the streets wearing nothing but what he was born wearing. He thinks they're after him."

"How is that different than what most of the people think in there?"

"Hunter sense. Plain and simple, I have to believe him. He has strange markings on him, looks to be from IVs or needle injections. I think he was tested on. Something's off here."

"Well, you know us Winchesters. That is our specialty."

"So you guys are coming out here, right?"

"Of course." Dean clicked the phone off. "Sammy? Looks like we have a case."

"So you let him go?" Dick Roman placed his feet up on the desk, eyeing the two scientists that stood in front of him.

"No…not intentionally."

"Taking an early vacation from your research? Am I paying you too much?"

"N-no sir…Meyers and I were in the control room when it happened. We were there."

Dick leaned back in his chair smiling lightly. "So you were there the whole time and did nothing?"

"No! We saw the intruders on the video camera. By the time we made our way into the room, the subject was gone, unplugged from everything."

"Who would have helped him out of there? As I understand everyone but you died in the building. You were hiding, weren't you?" The two men shifted uneasily, glancing at the other for confirmation. "Don't worry, you can tell me the truth. I simply want to know what happened."

The younger man nodded and cleared his throat. "Of course." He took in a deep breath. "I am having trouble explaining it to myself. We were watching the cameras from another room as more tests were commencing. The whole building began shaking, and before we knew it a noise was sounding through the room. High pitched and…strange. I grabbed a copy of the patient's chart before hurrying into the safety shelter. Meyers got in too and locked it behind us. We were in there for only minutes when all the sounds stopped."

"And then you got out and found the subject already gone?" Dick looked from one man to the other.

"No, we stayed in there for a good hour, just in case. You see, it was protocol we were following."

Dick smiled. "But of course. And what did you see when you re-entered the room?"

"A mess." The older man shook his head. "Things were melted. People I knew had their eyes burnt out of their faces and we feared some form of radiation had occurred. We often work with unstable isotopes. Anyways… the subject was gone."

"Any video evidence of what happened?"

"No, it was all melted too."

"So all I have is the word of two scientists who hid away as the subject of a very sensitive project escaped." He glanced at their identical looks of terror. "Don't worry, the word of two men is always enough. Certain people would hear of your doings and, unfortunately, believe you. Are you hungry boys? I sure am." The two men looked horrified as they watched the man's head throw back, teeth gleaming and mouth wide.

Dick Roman wiped off his mouth with a napkin as he watched other Leviathans filter out of the building. They were ready to hunt for the one who could either be their downfall or the one who would secure the monsters' right to the entire planet. Dick looked over the photo of the blue eyed former angel just as the small band of hunters packed up the Impala. He sent out his hosts while the former pawns of the apocalypse drove to a small mental facility, expecting at best a simple monster and at worst a group of hungry Leviathans. They did not know that they were about to stumble upon yet another attempt by others to destroy the earth they had dedicated their lives to saving.

Dean brushed his hand against the soft cloth of the trench coat before closing the trunk and getting in the passenger side as fast as he could on his bandaged leg. Maybe going on a regular case would help him get his game back. Maybe it would help him forget the insistent thoughts of Castiel out of his head. Whatever the case, Dean would force himself to be ready for what came next, no matter what it did to him. He figured that nothing could be worse than what already had happened.

It had never been this difficult to keep up an appearance before and Dean was struggling. He made lame jokes and referred to awkward and obscure references as usual. Sam played along and pulled out his bitch face even though he knew it was a charade. The two brothers pulled up to the clean looking building in the early hours of the afternoon. Nothing seemed unusual outside until a body was wheeled out of the front doors. Dean quickly straightened his tie and gimped over to the laden gurney as he and Sam flashed their badges.

"Agents Rudd and Young. Can you tell me what happened here?" Dean tucked away his badge when the coroner had finished looking it over.

"Yeah, of course. Not that we know much anyway." The man unzipped the body bag and exposed the body of a middle aged man that would look like he was sleeping if most of his middle section wasn't missing.

"Looks like he was attacked by an animal. Any idea how one could have gotten into the facility?"

The coroner shook his head. "None. Looks like it's up to you feds to puzzle this one out. I can give you a report on the autopsy after it is concluded if you stop by the local coroner's office later."

Sam nodded and smiled appreciatively. "Thank you." He shook his hand and nodded at Dean.

"Ready to fly into the cuckoo's nest once more Sammy?" Sam ignored him as he marched into the building, Dean trailing behind.

"There he is." Dean walked over to the older man who was sitting at a table and looking suspiciously around. "Hey Marty."

"There you boys are. Sorry to trouble you again. I just figure that you are the best people to get the job done."

"Consider us flattered."

"So are you going to fill us in on what we have missed so far?"

Martin nodded. "Let's go back to my room, I'm sure it is safer to talk in there."

"Oooh. We offer to take on a case for you and are already offered to the bed room? You move fast." Dean winked as the other man shook his head and grinned.

"You are just as much trouble as your father. You're lucky to have Sam with you to balance out all of that idiocy."

Sam smiled and nodded. "I'm sure even he knows it."

Dean rolled his eyes. "So is the tour ready to commence?"

They followed the man into his small room. "And here is my roommate, he hasn't remembered his name yet."

Dean felt his heart stop when he recognized the blue eyes that locked with his. He stood there in shock as his head spun. "Cas? Cas? Is that really you?" Tears started in his eyes when Castiel did his usual curious head tilt. "Damn it, it is you!" Dean pulled the startled Castiel off of the small bed and pulled him against his chest as he felt the body in his arms stiffen. "Cas are you okay you son of a bitch?" Dean stopped grinning when he saw Castiel simply looked baffled at him.

"Who are you?"


	2. What the Water Gave Me

**Hey gang! Here is the next chapter. Thank you very much to the reviewers of the first chapter. Getting them honestly helps me get back to typing the story instead of the homework I am supposed to be doing :) **

**Ventorum- I always enjoy your insightful reviews, so I am glad you are reading this story too! Yes, the questions are out there so let us see how they will be answered…**

**IzzyGirl45- Haha agreed, any addition of Cas at all is better than none at all! And thank you very much!**

**The Mysterious Shadow- Very true, poor Dean. Haha I hate the Leviathans so much!**

"What the Water Gave Me"

"_Who are you?" _ Three words rang in the hunter's head as he watched the stranger in the back seat. Familiar eyes gazed out at the passing greenery. Familiar eyes that narrowed slightly at the way the sun infused almost too warm sunlight into the Impala. The last rays before dark struggled to share the last of the warmth before night took over. Once Dean would glance in the rearview mirror and see the same rays ghost over high cheekbones. They would lighten tousled brown hair before escaping over the hunter's own face and swiftly slipping through a dirty window. The chill in the air of those moonless nights never troubled Dean Winchester as much as the quiet cold in his heart and the heat of the frantic thoughts in his head did now.

"_Who are you?" _ Three words and Dean knew that he had been too late. The Cas he knew had been replaced once more with his curious and innocent self. Blue eyes watched him curiously as Castiel noticed Dean watching him. Dean's eyes quickly shifted back to the road, ignoring the concerned green of Sam's. The radio was turned up and still the silence lingered.

Dean had pictured this moment a thousand times in his head since he had lost Cas. Maybe Dean would have been mad at him, but only outwardly. He had seen how sorry the fallen angel had been before the monsters slithered into his weakened heart and brain. Cas had been ready to die. He had sat there, small and in pain, knees tucked up and dirty coat wrapped around them. To fight off some chill that Dean refused to feel. Never had Dean been given such a sincere apology. A friend had offered up his body and soul to try to turn back the clock. How had he stood there simply staring as the broken angel flung out his thin arms, eyes wide, to allow himself to be consumed by what lay behind the wall? He should have fought for himself….no wait, Dean should have.

He had fallen. Dean remembered that a thousand times. Hit the floor slippery with his own blood not out of lack of will of heart but the weakness of the body that contained it. The body under his hands had shaken with exhaustion and possibly even fear when Dean lifted him back up, offering his friend once more to the death that lay in front of them. The worst thing was that Dean let himself mourn the angel when he lay there breathing, bloodied body completely still. He allowed himself the self-pity and despair that had not been earned by him. He hated himself for that and yet still the burden clung. He tore into himself in attempts to rip out the last clinging bits of pity but the guilt had changed him. And here Cas was fresh and alert, like the first time Dean had met him. Was this new start really a new beginning or simply a barricade against a damnable future?

Now Cas sat gazing through the window wearing the thin blue pajamas they had found him in. Cas shivered and Dean rolled up the window. Dean pulled off his coat: one arm on the wheel and the other slipping out of the aged material.

"Sammy, pas that back to Cas, will you?"

"Yeah." Sam glanced at Dean before passing the jacket back to Castiel.

Castiel looked confused. "What should I do with this?"

"Put it on." Dean refused to meet the questioning eyes. "Sam, help him."

Sam didn't protest. Here Cas was back unharmed, from what they could tell and Dean was acting like this bemused Castiel knew what he had done before. Was that it? His brother was mad at the angel? Sam glanced at his brother. No that wasn't it. Something was eating at Dean but it wasn't anger towards Cas.

"Slip your arms through it, yeah like that." Normally it would have been Dean giving the lesson on how to act like a human being, but Sam was ready to jump in until Dean started acting like Dean.

"So you don't remember anything at all?"

Castiel looked thoughtful for a moment before shaking his head. "I apologize…."

"Sam. I'm Sam and that's Dean."

"Yes I remember now." Castiel nodded as he peeked at Dean in the rearview mirror. Sam shook his head. Only an hour with his older brother in the vehicle and it looked like the angel was already obsessed with him. Not to mention the fact that when the brother's had introduced themselves Castiel only seemed to remember Dean's name. Sam smiled. It was nice to see that some things hadn't yet changed.

"Here we are." Dean parked the Impala into a parking lot next to a shabby looking motel. "Home sweet home."

Castiel squinted at the building. "You live here?"

"Nah, only when we are in the area."

"I don't understand." Dean smiled grimly at the familiar phrase.

"We are on the move a whole lot. Closest thing we have to home is some miles away." Sam smiled at Castiel, looking apologetic.

"So why don't we just go there?"

Dean looked excitedly back at him. "Are you saying you remember how to zap?"

Castiel narrowed his eyes in confusion. "Zap?"

Dean sighed. "Can you still teleport?"

Castiel simply looked baffled at him. "I used to do that?"

"Yeah you did, when you were still you." Dean marched ahead into the motel front room leaving behind a confused and rather hurt looking Cas.

"Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry, I have not yet figured out your customs."

Sam patted him on the shoulder. "Some people you can never understand. Dean is one of those. It's going to take a while." Castiel frowned. "Look man, it will be alright. Maybe you will start to remember things and it won't be so difficult for you." Castiel nodded and followed the taller man into the room.

"Got the keys. Sam, you take the keys and get situated. I'll get the luggage."

Sam smiled. "No way man. I got it." Sam snatched the Impala's keys from his brother's pocket and made a beeline from the door. If Dean kept pulling his usual crap there was no way things would get back to being normal.

Castiel watched as Dean sighed and unlocked the door. "Come on Cas." The angel nodded and followed him into the room without taking his eyes off him.

"What, do I have something on my face? You don't have to stare so much." Dean sat on one of the beds and ran a hand through his hair as Castiel stood stiffly and awkwardly by the still open door. "You can sit down somewhere Cas." Castiel nodded and sat down on the floor looking grateful. Dean felt his heart break. "Cas, you can sit somewhere else if you want."

"Do not worry Dean, this is adequate." Dean tried not to smile. He watched as Cas hugged the jacket around him and spied around the room. The angel caught his eye, looking pleased.

Dean's cellphone rang and Castiel looked startled at the sound. "Yeah? Damn it Sam, just get your ass back here. Okay fine. Yeah. The usual." Dean glanced over at Castiel. "Do you want something?"

"I am not sure what my options are to want."

Dean blinked. "Okay Sammy get him the same thing. And you don't have to take your sweet time eith- Sam? Son of a bitch!" He turned to see Castiel curled up on the floor, asleep. 'Damn it does he have to be so freakin' adorable all the time?'

He lifted up the sleeping angel and pulled of the jacket before setting him on the bed. Castiel gripped onto the back of Dean's shirt and the hunter stiffened for a moment. He sat there still holding the angel for a moment before slowly removing his hand and tucking him in the rest of the way. It was then that Dean realized that he had gotten a room with only two beds. "Shit."

When Sam returned his brother was in the shower and the angel asleep. 'Figures. I give him space to talk and he wastes it.' It was typical Dean behavior.

"Dean." Sam banged on the door, spying over at the sleeping angel to make sure he wasn't waking him up. "Dean!"

"What Sammy? Do I ever get time to myself?"

Sam rolled his eyes. "If you did you would be sick of your latest Asian cartoon….fetish thing. Which is disgusting by the way."

"Do you have to shout that in front of Cas?" Dean got out of the bathroom looking peeved, his whispering more of a hushed shout itself.

"Yeah. He's asleep. Dean, you know that the old Cas stuck to you like glue, right?"

Dean dried off and threw the towel back into the bathroom, much to Sam's chagrin. "Of course Sammy. It's not like he wasn't my shadow until…you know."

Sam nodded. "Exactly Dean. Even now Cas still seems more interested in you. If he is going to remember anything at all, I figure it would likely be through you."

"Why is he like that? He probably doesn't even remember pulling me out of hell. It's not like we would have had our weird…connection thing without that, right?"

At this Sam rolled his eyes and grabbed a towel. "You know what Dean, if you still haven't' figured that out, I worry about you."

"What?"

Sam sighed. "Exactly, Dean. Look, it is time for you to stop hiding away all the time. When you burry stuff from others, it may get lost to yourself. Think on it, but not too hard. I wouldn't want you to have an aneurysm while I was in the shower."

"Eww. Thinking of you in the shower would give me an anyru-whatever thingy."

Sam gave him a pinched look. "Then don't think about such awkward things. Right now we should be worrying about Cas. Did you even give a second thought to the fact that he is asleep right now?"

"Yeah, so? He must be wiped out."

"Thinking only does that to you Dean. Cas is an angel, and he is asleep. Remember the last time he acted like that?"

Dean glanced worriedly back at the sleeping angel. "When he was low on angel mojo?"

"Yeah. Something is up with him besides amnesia. We'd better keep a close eye on him."

"Good idea Sammy." Dean sighed and sat on the bed next to Castiel as Sam got into the shower. He watched as car lights zoomed by, lightening up the angel's features for brief moments. He watched as the angel's eyelids fluttered, mouth in a frown. Dean smiled and ran a hand over soft brown hair watching as the angel sighed softly. How cute, he was dreaming.

_The water was cold but still he forced one foot after the other into the lake. A shoe sank in the mud as one shoe was lost to the squelching mud. He tried to fight it. Castiel, angel of the lord, had been fighting his entire life and now he was too tired to try. Something called him to the water even as it repulsed him. Choking on the filth of the Leviathans he reeled forward clinging on barely to the grief that dragged him deeper into the lake. Tendrils of reeds caught on ankles and pulled tight. _

_He thought he had found everything. The Winchesters were the only semblance of a true family he had. Two brothers and an old drunk and he even ruined what he had with them. He had still seen pity in Bobby's eyes. He had heard sympathy in Sam's voice as he offered to help him. He had done wrong in the younger brother's eyes and still he was given another chance…but Dean. Dean was everything and he left him with nothing. He couldn't even look him in the eye but Castiel would never blame him for that. The weight of the trench coat grew as the water poured in. He felt the last of his will leaving. He disappeared under the water. Lost to the world as alone as he had been when he entered it. _

_Castiel's eyes rolled back. He was cold and scared, but he was still alive. He felt hands gripping onto his arms, holding him back down. No. He was going to fight this time. He thrashed back as he felt hands close over his wrists. They were going to do it again. Cut him open and flood his body with strange things that burned even as they chilled him. Sometimes his body would heal. Sometimes he would be left a bloody mess waiting to escape back into the cool quiet of the water. He wanted to escape-needed too! He felt his knuckles graze across skin that finally felt real to him-"_

"Cas! Cas! Come on you son of a bitch! Snap out of it! Sammy?" Dean shook the angel as Sam came hurrying out of the other room.

"I'm here Dean, hold him down!" The brother's held down the angel's seizing shoulders as he fought back; uncaring who he hurt in the process, even if it left his wrists bruised.

"You alright Sammy?"

"Yeah man. Just…Dean? Look at him…"

Dean glanced over, watching as blackness began to ooze out of the corner of the angel's mouth. It tracked down high cheek bones and out of his nose. "Damn it…it's that Leviathan stuff again. He's choking on it!"

Castiel retched and gasped for air as he felt his lungs filling with filth and his mind with the voices of the Leviathan. The crooned and caressed him with poisoned voices even as he coughed blackness out of his heaving chest.

Dean pulled the angel to his chest and held onto him as tightly as he could. He tried to fight the nightmare. "Cas. CAS. Listen to me! You are safe here, you are safe…with me."

Castiel whimpered lightly and went still. He took in a deeper breath before half opening his eyes. His unfocused eyes tried to take in the brother's faces but could not register a thing. Sam gasped and sat back as Castiel pulled out of Dean's arms and stumbled away from them. Inky black wings forced themselves out of pale skin as Castiel tried to escape. He whirled around; wings too weak to help him out of the room.

"Cas? Look man. It's us. Remember? I'm Sam, and that's Dean. We are your friends. Please, Cas!"

Blue eyes widened as Castiel squinted from one brother to the other before swaying. Dean hurried over and caught him. He felt the angel sigh in relief as he drifted off again; finally at peace in Dean's arms. Dean ran a hand over his hair before glancing up at his stricken brother. "Seriously…what the hell?"


	3. Fear to Forgive

**Hey everyone! I just watched the latest Supernatural episode and am still in shock :O I am very curious as to how the story arc will commence. They left him! :( Anywhoooo. Here is the next chapter. Thank you very much to the reviewers, your reviews are insightful and I am very pleased to read them. Keep reading and I will keep writing!**

**Ventorum- Haha poor Dean he just doesn't always think with his brain when emotions get involved.**

**IzzyGirl45- Why thank you :) Glad you have questions, don't worry they will be answered you good little reader!**

**Casismyfavorite- Thank you. I will say that the Leviathans are definitely involved...**

**The Mysterious Shadow- Merci beaucoup! Haha I will try to update as frequently as possible!**

"Fear to Forgive"

_Dean had tried to fight it. He had spoken cold words and forced himself to stop thinking such thoughts about the angel. Their fight had given him the perfect opportunity to distance himself. If he could hate Cas, there was no way he could love him too. Dean sat back and let the angel fight for heaven on his own. Somehow he forgot that Cas could never do anything by himself. He let go of his hand. He looked away as the angel grew more tired, more desperate to win a fight he could never win. _

_Dean had been too distracted. His brother had returned from hell with everything that had been Sam gone. He noticed the vacant look in Sam's eyes but didn't see the angel's blood on the trench coat. He told himself he was one man, how the hell as he supposed to fix everything? Castiel spiraled downward without the leadership of Dean or the orders of heaven to guide him. He stumbled along his own path as he fought to fix what the derailing of the apocalypse had caused. He gave up everything to slip into the quiet water of the lake out of the reach of the afternoon sun._

In the early morning light Sam looked over the sleeping angel as Dean snored loudly on the other bed. He was breathing regularly with a strong heartbeat. Small needle holes were mostly healed in his skin and the black wings had seemingly vanished. Sam hummed off key as he opened his lap top and began to skim through the local news.

Dean sat up quickly and groggily spied at his brother. "What's up Samsquatch? How's Cas?"

"Morning Dean. He's still asleep. Last night seemed to have really taken a toll on his energy."

Dean nodded. "Not to mention the fact that it was pretty freakin' weird."

"Yeah. Dean…something is wrong with him."

"No duh Captain Obvious. He spitting out that Leviathan crap again. And his wings...I've never seen them before."

"Me either. I guess fluffy white wings are just a misconception of angels? They are always white in all the lore Bobby has."

"And Cas' were black." Dean swallowed. "Is he still even an angel?"

"I don't know Dean. We are going to have to keep an eye on him. He seemed pretty ill last night."

Dean tiredly rummaged in the mini fridge for a beer. "Damn it Sam, I thought that now that we had him back things could be normal again."

Sam scoffed. "Yeah right. From the way you've been avoiding him like the plague since we found him you are making things different. Dean, if you're still mad at him for what happened before we can't pin it on him now. I don't think he remembers anything."

Dean ran a hand through his hair tiredly. "I know Sammy. I shouldn't be mad at him now since he doesn't remember a thing…it's just…I don't know what the hell I'm saying."

Sam smiled. "Do you ever Dean? All I know is that Dick is somewhere in the middle of this-" Dean snorted.

"Shut up Dean. You know what I meant."

"Yeah, I know Sammy. Get your ass in bed and get some sleep. You look like crap."

"Whatever." Sam rolled his eyes and crawled into bed as Dean chewed on a cold burger from the night before.

Dean sat on the foot of a bed as watched _Dr. Sexy _on the television for a while as he attempted to relax. He felt a twitch in his shoulder blades that he attempted to shrug off for the better part of a half hour. Dean stretched and laid back on the bed, forgetting that Cas was there until he felt the angel jump in surprise. He sat up quickly.

"Sorry Cas! Did I wake you up?"

Castiel shook his head, looking very much awake. "No." He solemnly locked eyes with Dean.

Dean stared at him for a minute. "How long were you staring at me for?"

Castiel tilted his head to the side as he studied Dean. "I am not sure. I was staring at you, not the clock."

Dean was tempted to face-palm but didn't. It seemed that Cas was back to his old habits once more. He realized that he was once more leaning against the angel's leg as he slid off the bed. He cleared his throat awkwardly. "Umm. I have some clothes you can use for now but we will have to get you some that actually fit."

Castiel looked confused. "Is there something wrong with what I am wearing? It was the standard uniform for the place I was at."

"Yeah Cas but most people don't wear that. Get in the shower and take those off." Castiel nodded agreeably before walking into the shower and then pulling the shirt off of his head.

Dean sighed. He should have remembered that Cas took everything literally. He wandered into the bathroom as the angel tugged on the draw strings of his pants. Dean couldn't help but begin to admire the angel's body when he noticed a variety of stitches covering the angel's body. They held together skin cut in a neat, precise manner. These were not normal injuries, they had been done with accuracy of a sharp scalpel.

"Damn it Cas, what the hell happened?" Castiel stared back at him with wide confused eyes. "Where did you get these?" Dean whispered as he traced the line of a long incision.

"The place I was before you found me."

"The mental hospital!" Dean looked furious.

Castiel shook his head. "Before that."

"Cas, who did this?" The angel stood there trembling for a moment and quickly shook his head once more. "You don't know?"

Cas stood there looking small and vulnerable as he stared down at the ground. "I am sorry Dean."

Without thinking, Dean wrapped his arms around the angel and held him to his chest. "I wish I had known you were back before this happened. Damn it Cas, I'm supposed to protect you!"

"You are?" Castiel glanced up at Dean, startled.

"Yeah who else is going to look after you?"

Castiel looked thoughtful for a moment. "No one, since I do not know anyone in the world but you."

"Damn it Cas, the things you do to my heart." Dean held him for a moment more realizing that he and Sam were not simply the only people Castiel knew now. He had always seemed to have trouble making friends, even among other angels. Cas was back and he was as alone as he had ever been. Castiel buried his nose in Dean's shoulder and stood there quietly as Dean held him for a moment longer.

Dean realized that he had been holding onto the angel for too long and awkwardly pulled away. "I'm going to find you some clothes. Towels are to your right and go ahead and use any of the shampoo and stuff."

"Dean?"

Dean wiped moisture off of his eyes quickly. "Yeah Cas?"

"How do I make this work?" Castiel squinted at the shower head like it was a puzzle or Fermat's Enigma.

Dean chuckled. "Here." Dean started the water and was about to ruffle the angel's hair but thought against it. "Do the same thing but opposite to shut it off." Castiel nodded as Dean closed the door and leaned on the protruding frame trying not to think about how Castiel was mere feet away from him dripping wet…

"Dude, stop thinking about Cas like that." Sam laughed as Dean threw him a dirty look.

"Like what?"

Sam grinned. "Do you really want me to say it?"

"No." Dean sat on the bed with his head in his hands.

"Look man, we're going to figure this out. We always do."

Dean peeked out of his hands tiredly. "You think so? Whatever the hell is going on with Cas…you think we can just figure that out?"

"I don't know Dean. But we have to try. We can at least do that."

"What if he does remember?"

Sam shrugged. "Do you think he would want to?"

"I wouldn't. But we'd better hope he does or at least has all of his old angel mojo back. We aren't going to beat those Leviathan dicks on our own."

"I know. I'm just worried about how Cas will take it."

Dean nodded. "I know, but after what he pulled on us… maybe he deserves it. We need him to fix this."

Sam looked shocked. "Dean I know what he did. But look, I have never seen anyone so sorry for what they did. He was only trying to help at first!"

"Yeah then he cracked open that damn wall in your head!"

"Something was wrong with him Dean. You just refused to see it. He was alone and thought what he was doing would save everyone. I know it wasn't him calling the shots in the end." Sam took in a deep breath as Dean tried to look anywhere but at his brother. "But you know that Dean."

Dean lay back on the bed staring at the ceiling. "I know Sammy. I'm just…tired. Everything we do and it never ends. It seems that every win we get is countered with a thousand losses. I just can't take losing again."

"Yes you can. Look man, you have never given up Dean. And you won't. If you did you wouldn't be you. We are going to fix this so can we just forget all that other crap for a while?"

"I don't know. I can't trust him again Sam."

Sam looked pinched. "Yeah you can. This is Cas. He's our friend and we are going to forgive him and move on. I've done things both you and I weren't proud of but you still stuck by me. We aren't giving up on Cas."

Dean sighed. "Alright Sammy. We are going to try and get through this but I don't like it."

"But you will. I already think that Cas is getting under your skin again."

"What? You're such a bitch sometimes."

Sam grinned. "Yeah and you're a jerk all the time."

"Thanks Sammy. I guess I'd better check on Cas and make sure he didn't drown in there."

Sam frowned. "Too early for that Dean."

Dean's ears went a bit red. "Son of a bitch, I forgot." He shuffled over to the door and knocked loudly. "Cas, how long are you going to spend getting pretty in there, huh?" Dean waited for minute for an answer before glancing at Sam.

"Go on Dean."

Dean rolled his eyes and pushed open the door. "Cas, come on you are taking for-" He caught sight of the angel, face tilted toward the stream of water with a pleased smile on his face. Dean swallowed as he felt heat creeping through his body.

"Dean?" Castiel tilted his head to the side in his usual quizzical manner.

Dean felt his face begin to burn when he realized that he had been staring at the angel for an awkwardly long time. "Uhhh sorry Cas. I must just still be tired."

Castiel nodded solemnly. "Something is upsetting you."

Dean looked surprised. "I'm fine. Are you turning into a fish or something? Come on Cas, we need to go."

"Dean?" Castiel quietly grabbed a towel as he watched Dean curiously.

"Yeah Cas?"

"You said we once knew each other."

"We did." Dean turned to leave as Castiel took a step forward.

Castiel hugged the towel as he watched Dean turn back slightly. "Were we friends?"

Dean's shoulders stiffened for a moment before he sighed. "Yeah Cas, we were."

Castiel nodded, looking rather pleased. "I hoped so. If I remember everything we can be friends again."

"Get dressed Cas. We'd better hit the road." He saw a sad look in the angel's eyes before he closed the door behind him.

"Is he ready to go? I packed your things."

Dean nodded. "He's getting dressed. Help me get the stuff in the car."

"Alright, I got it. Be nice." Sam nodded towards the bathroom door before he grabbed a duffel bag and carried it out the door.

"What would you like me to do, Dean?" Castiel stepped over, wearing a blue button up of Dean's that brought out the deep blue of his eyes. His hair stuck up messily.

"Don't worry Cas. Sam got most of it." Castiel nodded as he watched Dean with wide eyes. "Come here." Dean placed a hand on the angel's shoulder as he steered him out of the room. Castiel leaned into the touch and Dean couldn't help but feel comforted as well.

A man stood outside of the motel, sullen eyes on the three. Castiel squinted quietly at him while Sam and Dean walked by figuring that he was one of the hundreds of tramps they had seen camped outside of a crap motel in their lives. Castiel felt something cold creep through his veins as he locked eyes with the man. Something inside the man called out to him and he took a step forward. A light trail of grayish black began to drip from the angel's nose and he clamped a hand over it in shock.

"Cas?" Dean glanced back. "Leave the guy alone. We need to get rolling." Castiel nodded and looked back at the spot where the man was only to find him gone.

"Are you okay?" Sam came over and gently moved the angel's hand away from his face. He looked concerned and passed him a tissue.

Castiel looked grateful as Sam watched him closely. "Yes."

Sam noted the reddish tint to the substance and shared a look with Dean. Dean sat the angel in the back seat of the car as Sam quietly slipped into the passenger side. The Impala roared down the road on a familiar path towards the only place the Winchester's could call home. Dean figured that if anyone could figure out something to do about the angel, it would be Bobby. Or at least one of them would hopefully stumble upon something in one of the books.

Dean glanced worriedly back at Castiel every few miles as the angel spied out of the window. Castiel only caught his eye a few times, looking curiously back at him. Since Castiel had come home with the brothers Dean had been acting varying degrees of hot and cold with him. He was confused. Sometimes Dean would look at him with an almost tender look in his green eyes and other times he seemed to so angry he couldn't even look at him. Castiel decided to try whatever he could to stay in the hunter's good graces. He wasn't sure what he was doing wrong or right, but he figured that remembering anything, and hopefully everything, would let him once more become the friend that Dean had lost. He guessed that things would be better. Castiel did not know that some things were better left forgotten at the bottom of a lake; never to resurface in the light world of the living.

.

"What do you have to report?" Dick sat at his desk as workers thumbed through every local newspaper possible.

"He's with the Winchesters. I saw the three of them outside the motel."

Dick looked interested. "And the angel? How was he?"

"Sickly. I do not know how well he will hold up."

Dick gritted his teeth. "He will have to. The other experiments have failed. We knew the humans would be too weak and the demons are made of flimsy material as well. The angel is our only chance. No other vessel will hold up under the strain." Dick crumbled up the piece of paper in his hand. "He will be angry with us if we fail." The others nodded, watching a rare look of fear cloud their leader's face.

"We will do what we must."

"Yes you will. Find the angel and kill the others if you must. If we are to make this our new home we must ensure that it belongs solely to us. We lose him and we lose the war." Dick slammed his fist on the desk loudly." Get me that damned angel!"


	4. Dean's Inferno

**Here is the next chapter! I couldn't get this story out of my head so you lucky ducks get an earlier posting :p I can't wait for the next episode with Cas so it looks like this will have to vent any feelings of worry.**

**Thank you very very much reviewers! Interesting ideas and thoughts as always. You guys are good!**

**The Mysterious Shadow- Haha a fish fry! I LOVED that. Especially with Dean as the cook. You hit the nail on the head with one of your insights so good hunting! Another was an interesting notion that I may very well take into account since I was planning on introducing some familiar faces once more.**

**Casismyfavorite- Why thank you. I really do think Cas wouldn't have done all that if he had been given a little more attention and help from our favorite hunters. Glad you have questions, hope it makes things more intriguing!**

**Ventorum- Thank you, I think the reason I started up with this story was due to frustration with the season 6-7 plotline. I feel like someone needs to be as spokesperson for our poor little angel! :D Good! Haha it is important for Dean to realize that they were friends and not just enemies.**

**IzzyGirl45- Very true. Plus the name Dick gives "rise" to a lot of fun jokes. Yup the poor thing may be lost and confused now but remembering may yet be an even greater hell. Don't worry, Dean always gets his act together when he is done PMSing! Thanks :) :) I am very grateful for the compliments since it means I am doing this somewhat right!**

"Dean's Inferno"

Thunder rolled in the distance as a dry heat crept through a window. A black speck zoomed over a dusty road and away from the still night. The engine had been roaring for hours. A cassette tape was exchanged for another and the sound of it rewinding barely broke through the quiet. It was path that had heard the tape nearly as many times as the man who stubbornly fed it into the slot. Dean figured he could find the house with both eyes shut; not like he would actually try in the face of his brother's bitch face from the passenger's seat. The Impala's wheels stopped in the familiar dirt outside of the Singer auto shop.

"Here we are." Dean stepped out of the car as Sam stretched and did so as well. "Cas, are you coming out of there any time soon?" Dean peeked in the back seat and tried not to smile. The angel was asleep with his face pressed against the window with his mouth slightly open. Dean reached over and placed a hand on his shoulder before shaking him gently. "Come on Cas. We're here."

'Here' was the closest thing to a stable home that the brothers had known since the death of their mother. A peeling sign made of splintered wood welcomed them into a yard filled with half-formed vehicles. Castiel glanced over everything curiously as he took a step around an old tire. The brothers glanced at him, noting the way he looked at the place for the first time. He had never spent as many hours thumbing through the jumbled and often misplaced library that lived in pieces throughout the home. He never had dropped by for a beer after a tiring hunt or spent a Christmas waiting for an always too busy father to come home. But he still should have remembered it.

In the kitchen was the chair he once sat in as he and Ellen played a drinking game. The fireplace held the ashes of the only copy of the team freewill photograph. The home was the only safe haven he had when, bloody and upset, he came to recuperate even as the gray imprint of Rachel's wings were etched into the ground. When he could no longer tell heaven from hell he knew that the old home would likely be filled with the voices of his Winchesters and the splashing of alcohol into a frequently used glass. He did not remember, but something within the angel felt at peace as he stepped into the house.

"Hey Bobby!" Dean hollered as he steered Castiel through the often stuck door. "He still hasn't fixed the damned door?"

"No he hasn't because he has been too busy fixing your messes-" Bobby stopped short when he noticed a familiar blue eyed angel spying curiously around the living room. "What the hell is going on here?" He tried to read Dean's expression. "Would you like a drink…Cas?" He grasped a bottle of Amber liquid from a shelf after quickly removing the beaded rosary from its neck.

Dean put a hand protectively on the angel's shoulder. "Nah he's fine Bobby. This really is Cas, not a demon so don't go holy on his ass. It's him."

Bobby stared in awe at Castiel for a moment, eyebrows knotted. Everyone stood still in the tense quiet as the old hunter studied the angel who looked unsure back at him, leaning as close to Dean as possible. Suddenly Bobby got a smile on his face and he came over and hugged the perplexed angel.

"Good to see you, son." Sam smiled looking relieved and Dean let out a breath he hadn't even known he was holding.

"Sam? There's food in the kitchen. How about you go and get yourself some? Cas, you are welcome to anything you want too." Sam took the hint and led Castiel into the kitchen as Bobby watched them leave and handed Dean a cold beer. "So what the hell is that angel doing here, I thought his body was ripped to shreds in that lake!"

"I don't know Bobby. He seems to have been alive for a while even after we left him. We went to see Martin at his nut house and it turns out Cas was his roommate there."

Bobby shook his head in wonder. "So this whole time he's been tucked away in a mental house, huh? How is that poor son of a bitch still alive?"

"We still more questions than answers, but Cas was tested on before he got here."

"How d'you know that?"

Dean took a sip. "He has needle punctures and incisions everywhere." Dean swallowed. "He's not right in the head either."

"Is he ever? Last time I checked that angel was out of his mind, stark mad and ready to blow up the world."

"I think he's over that. Bobby, Cas can't remember a thing. We found him at the hospital and he didn't know my name. Stupid son of a bitch didn't even know his own name!"

Bobby took a swing out of his own bottle as he leaned against the wall, processing everything as quickly as possible. "We need to find out who was running those tests and why."

Dean rolled his eyes. "And how are we going to do that, eh Matlock?"

"Watch your tone boy. First things first, we need to know what Cas knows. No, don't you interrupt. If we can get any clue whatsoever, it's going to help us. Leviathans or demons would be up to this and we need to know which ones. Torturing an angel takes power and a heck of a lot of bravery and stupidity."

Dean nodded. "I just am worried about the poor sucker."

"Yeah, that makes two of us. So how do you know this is Cas and not Jimmy? It's not like they don't look the same."

Dean grimaced. "I would know Cas anywhere. It's him. I'm sure you will be able to tell too, he's just like he used to be. Awkward and confused about everything in the entire world."

"So he's still an angel? Mojo and all?"

"I don't know."

Bobby frowned. "Looks like you idgits are sure doing some sloppy detective work. Let me get a look at him." Bobby made his way into the kitchen past Dean before the younger man could stop him.

"Stand up Cas." The angel stood, eyeing the man with trepidation. "Shirt off." Castiel obeyed and stood in the pale light of the kitchen looking uncomfortable. Bobby circled around him muttering to himself as Castiel shied away from him.

"Don't worry Cas, he won't hurt you." Castiel glanced back at Dean and looked comforted. He warmed up slightly to the older hunter as Sam shook his head in amusement. "What?"

"Nothing Dean." Dean glared. "It's just that you don't even realize the power you have over an angel. He's supposed to be one of the most powerful beings on earth and he listens to you better than a puppy would."

"Shut up Sam." Dean tried his best to fight off a pleased feeling that began to swell in his heart.

"I am an angel?" Castiel tilted his head to the side quizzically as Bobby moved him closer to the lamp.

"Yeah Cas. Can you do any of your angel stuff?"

Castiel shook his head. "I don't know Dean. I am sorry."

"Look man, it's alright. Just take your time to figure things out." Sam smiled encouragingly at the angel and Castiel gave him a slight one in return.

Castiel stood in the middle of the kitchen shaking off the feeling that he had been there before. Three sets of eyes watched him as he awkwardly tried to will his body to do something angelic. Anything angelic. He squinted at the other three before shutting his eyes.

"Cas, you still can't remember? Maybe all your mojo is gone." Dean came over and stood by the angel as he looked ashamedly up at him.

"I apologize. It seems I am not what you thought I was." Castiel's shoulders slumped.

"Nah Cas. You just have been through a lot of shit." Dean sat down on a wobbly chair and sighed tiredly.

Castiel stood in the same spot looking upset. "Dean?"

"It's okay. We will just try something else." Castiel watched as a tried shadow crossed over the hunter's face and trembled as he felt the worry eating through the man that could not be seen.

"I…" Castiel stepped over, unsure what to say. Dean glanced up at him and Castiel gripped his shoulder in the same comforting manner Dean had done to him. Something snapped behind blue irises and Castiel went rigid. The lights sparked and flashed as a terrible roar was unleashed under the hard wood floors. Shelves trembled as their contents danced off and shattered on the heaving ground.

"Cas? Cas!" Sam gripped onto the window sill as he watched light streaming through the angel's body. Blue eyes were opened wide, fear and horror widening them as wild dark hair was blown back from the angel's face. Dean's eyes were locked on Castiel's as he felt the grip of the angel's hand tearing into sensitive skin. Black wings escaped once more from Castiel's back and knocked Bobby aside as he attempted to pull the angel away. Dean hollered in pain and Bobby fought his way back over, Sam mirroring his motions.

"Get him Sam! You get that side!" Sam nodded to Bobby and crawled over to Castiel gripping his ankle. Dean's eyes rolled back a he fought to keep conscious. A whiteness at the back of his mind insistently beat against the backs of his eyes and consumed his mind.

_The flames bit into every inch of exposed flesh and yet their abundance gave little more light to the darkness than a dozen matches. Back and forth the fires would burn and the darkness would swallow them. He had never felt so tired. The clanging of armies of hell rang around him forming the sounds of sharp metals tearing into soft flesh. His brothers and sisters were dying. A thin feeling of remorse washed through him as he crept forward. An angel fell beside him and he could feel the blood pool beneath his feet as it began to hiss and boil. Another cried out and yet Castiel forged on ahead. He needed to complete the mission. Assigned the hopeless task of sneaking in and procuring the Michael sword, he was not the most envied of angel's. Weaker than most and running off of orders, he had felt the slight sense of free will rear up inside him as he received his assignment. He smothered the voice and complied. _

_Now he was here. In the pits of hell he listened to the sounds above him quieting. Blood trailed down his body but the nerves were too exhausted and overloaded with signals of sensation to pay attention to more than one voice. Sometimes the voice of pain broke through. Sometimes something like fear gripped him as he reeled from nausea. One foot followed another and he stumbled forward with one hand scraping against a rough wall. He nearly sank to the ground when his head rang with the sounds metal._

_It was in the heart of hell that he found him. His body was a mess: clothes and body shredded. Once strong arms were gripped by heavy chains and the man was not moving. Castiel stepped forward curiously. He could still see the fullness of the man's mouth. Dark blond hair was streaked with blood and the angel found himself wanting to reach out and comfort the man's destroyed body and mind. He moved forward quietly as he allowed his senses to take over his thoughts. As he neared the body a hissing of flame broke through surrounding the tormented form. Castiel frowned and waited for the flames to abate. He watched them grow hungrier as they greedily crept towards the supinated figure. Castiel took in a deep breath, knowing what he was about to do would likely kill him._

_He forced his body through the flames and felt them singe over his sensitive wings. Never before had he felt such pain and it nearly destroyed him. A clump of bloody feathers melted behind him as he wrapped his arms around the man's stilled form. Agony left him weak and out of his mind as he clutched the body to his chest and broke back through the flames. He shivered in pain and collapsed outside the wall of fire as he tried to center his breathing. He pushed the screaming feeling of ruined flesh out of his mind as he set to work healing the man so many had died to save. Another lake of fire vented towards them and Castiel barely had time to grip him by the shoulder and take flight._

_He nearly fell out of the air more than once. He tumbled towards them depths of the earth more times than he cared to recall, each fall bringing frustrated tears to his eyes. His tired body was about to give up on him. The man stirred and Castiel gripped him closer. Somehow he was able to push on ahead, comforted by the feeling of a now alive body in his arms. Harrow hell lay behind him hissing from its miserable flames as Castiel found his way back to the earth. He collapsed on the ground outside the gates of hell as he felt the man cough beside him. Castiel glanced over and noticed he was still asleep. He used the last of his energy to heal him and cry the message that would raise the hopes of his brothers and sisters: Dean Winchester is saved._

"Dean? Dean!" Sam towered over his brother having pulled him away from the seizing body of the angel. He held Dean up from the ground and noticed the hand print of the angel on his shoulder was as angry and red as I had been when Dean was fresh out of hell.

"Sammy?" Dean sat up on his own as he took in a deep breath. He glanced over at the ripped cloth on his shoulder and bit his lip at the throbbing pain.

"What the hell happed back there?" Bobby passed Dean a glass of water as Sam got Castiel to lay still.

Dean shook his head in amazement. "I think I was in one of Cas' memories. The one where he rescued me from hell."

"What?" Sam placed a cold cloth on the Castiel's forehead as blackness trailed like tears down the angel's cheek.

"Yeah. It was like I was in his head and…I saw and felt everything. You know, I never gave much thought to what it really took for Cas to rescue me from hell? Guess I kinda took the poor son of a bitch for granted." Dean slumped in the chair and nodded wearily over at Castiel. "Is he okay?"

Sam shook his head. "I'm not sure. The black goo is back and looks like he is bleeding too. Dean…I think the stuff is killing him."

Dean sat quietly for a moment before forcing himself out of the chair. He sat down next to the angel and lightly ran a hand over his messy hair. It was then that Dean got the chance to really look over the angel's wings. He had thought them to be simply black in color but that was not the case. Varying shades of charcoal and gray ate up feathers. Some were missing in places and others ruined beyond repair. Light scars trailed under ruffled feathers as a reminder of the pain of open wounds. They had been healed at some point but never fully recovered from the hellfire that had greedily consumed them. Dean felt a well of tears start in his throat as he ran a hand through the wings and held them back. All for him and Dean hadn't given a second thought to it.

"Damn it Cas." Dean pulled Castiel into his arms and held him to his chest. He carried him into a guest room and laid his sleeping form down on the bed. He heard Sam and Bobby whispering in the kitchen as he slipped under the covers and held the angel o his chest. His hands trailed softy over feathers. Cas nestled his head in the crook of Dean's neck as if comforted by the touch. Dean absently let his hand through the feathers of one wing until he felt a few slip into his palm. He felt the angel tremble for a moment before lying still once more. Dean frantically looked over each wing in the moonlight noticing how other areas looked to have recently shed feathers. The Leviathans had fled from his body and still something was killing him. Something was worming its way through his angel's body as it took his mind and poisoned his body. As Dean held the angel he realized he was dying. No. Dean placed a rough kiss on Castiel's cheek. There was no way anyone was taking him away again. Leviathan or demon, whoever had done this would pay Winchester style.


	5. Only If For a Night

**I can't stop writing ahhh! Haha here you guys go, I couldn't help writing another chapter in one sitting. I know, I have problems. This one is pretty long, like two chapters in one since I could not rip myself away from the computer ;p A HUGE thanks goes to my loyal reviewers: IzzyGirl45, Ventorum, Casismyfavorite, and The Mysterious Shadow. You guys are seriously amazing and I love getting your thoughtful reviews. This chapter is for you guys! Thanks for reading everyone, enjoy!**

**IzzyGirl45- Why thank you! I'm glad you liked the description of the battle from hell, It just couldn't help but feel that there needed to be more of a description to it to show what Cas really did for Dean. I guess that's just how I pictured it :D Very nice review, thanks!**

**Ventorum- Don't worry, I will make sure Cas gets through this! I don't want to torment you guys too much especially with what is going on in the series, which stresses me out :( Poor Cas!**

**Casismyfavorite- Thank you! Haha yup now Dean will understand what Cas has and will do for him!**

**The Mysterious Shadow- Haha! I would be scared too! Yeah this story definitely needs some sweetness for all the horrible things happening in it. But I guess that is the way of Supernatural. Even with all the horrible things they go through, the characters still find a way to be hilarious or loving. **

"Only If For a Night"

A calm silence filled the small house off of the dusty road. Paths of asphalt lay far enough away where the insistent flashing of car lights looked like small sparks from a firefly. In the safety of the darkness Dean held a fallen angel to his chest. By the slivers of moonlight and warmth of the body against his he knew he was not alone. The angel breathed quietly before nightmares alighted in his mind again and again. Each time Dean was there with a soft word as he pushed back messy dark hair. Castiel was calmed by the gestures and escaped the world of nightmares to find peace in the man's embrace. Now that he remembered hell the memories refused to leave him. He had little else to dream about. Something tied off secrets from the rest of his mind and his curious probing did nothing to crack the wall. Somehow Dean had done it.

Soft skin had lain under his palm, the light scar fitting his hand perfectly. Lights flashed and he had been swept back into the pits he had forgotten. Fire burned his body even as he fought the onslaught of the horror of the memory. But not matter how terrible it had been to relive the fear of hateful hell he had been given something special. A memory of Dean. He now had something that tied him to the hunter without having to follow the words of the brothers on blind faith. Dean. The man held him in fully healed arms that held no memory of the knives and flames of hell. His chest was no longer in ribbons and he felt a chuckle rumble through Dean's body when his hair tickled his freckled nose. He knew Dean. Castiel buried his face deeper into Dean's neck as he softly breathed in his scent.

"Hey, are you awake Cas?"

"Mhhhmm." Castiel snuggled closer as Dean grinned.

"More nightmares?" Dean ran a hand through soft brown hair and the angel sighed contentedly.

"Yes."

"Hell? Or have you remembered something else?"

Castiel nodded slowly. "Dreams of hell." He curiously trailed a hand over the hunter's muscled arm and traced the scar with a delicate touch. "Does this still hurt you?"

Dean smiled. "Nah. Only it did when I first got it and earlier tonight it felt brand new again."

"I am sorry for harming you."

Dean caught the wandering hand and held it tightly to his chest as Castiel watched him with his inquisitive blue eyes. "Don't worry about it Cas. I'm just glad you remembered something. It means you are still here."

Castiel looked questioningly back at him but Dean looked to be in a zone. When Dean let go of his hand Cas placed it softly over the lighter flesh on the man's shoulder. He gasped as he felt his hand push down harder and the lights flashed once more.

"Cas? Cas!"

_Wind beat against a metal roof and the sound of circuits exploding surprised him. The new vessel was still strange to him and he had not yet learned to completely control his power within it. Metal doors flung open and rusty bolts contorted and buried themselves in the dirt below. It was here that he saw him truly awake for the first time. He had healed the hunter's body, taking painstaking accounts to detail. He had spent time renewing the body under his hands even as his own was left with scars that had no time to properly heal. Flesh had reknit under the gentlest of touches and Castiel thought he knew the man based on the body he had healed. It was as if he had looked at all the pictures in a book and had forgotten to read the words as well._

_He looked into green eyes and lost a part of himself forever. He didn't know that the hunter's eyes would be so green. A smile ghosted his face as he walked towards the man and his older companion as bullets ripped into his flesh. Dean Winchester. The name rang through his head again and again as he basked in the feel of such a pure and light soul. Something had tampered with it in hell but it still felt so heavenly to the angel. Castiel looked reverent at him as Dean fired the last of his round into his chest. He was even more beautiful alive. Words were exchanged and a knife driven into the angel's still healing skin. It fell to the ground and collected dust along bloody edges. The older hunter lay on the ground as Castiel curiously leafed through one of the books that Dean and Bobby had used to find the symbols that painted the entirety of the walls around them. All the wrong symbols to keep the right thing out. _

"_Who are you?"_

"_Castiel. I am an angel of the Lord."_

"Cas! You need to wake up!" Castiel looked startled as he wrenched himself away from Dean in surprise.

"Dean?"

"You did it again." Dean sat back looking at the angel breathlessly. A hand crept up to his now smarting shoulder.

"My apologies…Dean I…"

"It's alright Cas."

"Another one?" Sam's lanky frame blocked the light streaming in from the kitchen into the dark room.

"Yeah. Hey Cas, did you see the same thing I did?"

"The first time we met." Castiel's eyes found Dean's and the hunter smiled back at him. "You wanted to kill me." He didn't sound accusatory.

"Yeah. Sorry but we figure you had to be some evil son of a bitch to get through all of those warding spells."

Castiel looked almost amused at Dean. A tendril of black trickled out of the side of his mouth and Dean gently wiped if off with a Kleenex from the night stand. "And after that we were friends?"

Dean grinned. "It took a few more meetings for us to become…the way we used to be." He sighed as Castiel threw him a curious glance.

"That Leviathan stuff seems to be coming up more frequently. How are you feeling?" Sam placed a worried hand on the angel's shoulder as he tilted his face towards him with the other.

"Tired." Blood bubbled by the side of his mouth. Red in a sea of blackness. He took the tissue from Dean and held it to his mouth as he waited for the spell to pass.

"Balls! I knew that you two idgits had some weird connection." Bobby stood in the doorway with his arms folded, shaking his head.

"What do you mean?" Dean looked suspicious as he gripped Castiel's unburdened hand.

"Besides the obvious homoerotic air about you? That handprint is the key to this."

Dean looked irritated. "Yeah so what about it?"

"This is how we can get Cas to remember. Through you, you dumbass. That mark on your shoulder has some link to the old Castiel."

Castiel looked relieved at Dean but the hunter didn't meet his eyes. He ran a thumb over the soft skin of the angel's hand as he frowned at Bobby's words. He wasn't so sure he wanted to let Cas remember more. The nightmares were already keeping the angel from getting a proper night's rest and they seemed to trigger the illness to take a hold of the angel. Here he was perfect and more innocent then he had been even before Dean had first met him.

The angel had been so tired and broken in his final moments and Dean had been terrified. Though his influence he had taken a powerful angel of the Lord and reduced him to the confused quivering mess that sat in a pool of blood on the floor. He had taken away confidence in the orders he received and replaced them with doubts. He took away a natural bravery and replaced it with a fearful form that left the angel trembling after every battle. He put glorious ideas of the benefits of breaking the rules and the power in freedom and free will into the curious contours of the mind and heart that were gladly offered up to him. He planted the path that the angel walked to his own doom. When he was finally faced with the consequences of his guidance he turned away. Dean figured that he had as good as killed the angel the day he met him.

Now he sat with a smaller hand in his and trusting blue eyes taking in as much information about the man as possible. Castiel was ready to walk the same path again and follow Dean into darkness. Dean was no longer so sure that this was a second chance he had been given or a hell that would eat away at his mind so he could no longer infect others with it.

As Dean sat on the bed looking moody Sam finished looking over the angel. He had no idea what to do to help him besides the occasional encouraging smile. "All good Cas?"

"I believe so. Thank you Sam." Sam nodded and followed Bobby out of the room.

"Beer son?"

"Yeah, sure." Sam followed the older man into the kitchen and stretched out long limbs as he settled into a worn chair.

"We need to get Cas to get the last of those memories out."

"Quick to the point are we?" Dean stood outside the kitchen with his arms folded as Bobby rolled his eyes.

"D'you have to butt in now Dean?"

Dean's eyes narrowed. "Yeah I do, since my butt was not invited to the conversation."

"Alrighty then. I will get straight to the point. We can let Cas get rested up tonight but we need to flush out the rest of those memories tomorrow. We need to figure out the Leviathan game plan and try to get ahead."

"No." Dean grabbed a beer as he fiercely glared at Bobby.

"I wasn't asking your permission you idgit!"

"Good, because you are sure as hell not getting it! This thing that keeps happening, it's killing him. When he remembers it's like the filth tries to swallow him up again."

"Maybe if we do it in one go we can clean that crap out."

"No. I'm not losing him again do to one of my bad decisions." Dean popped the cap off of another bottle of beer.

Bobby looked softer. "Dean, I know that Cas means a lot to you. He's one of us, and hell, I get that. But we can't let that get in the way. We can't put his life above those of the entire world."

Dean gazed out at the window as if attempting to lose himself in the endless darkness. Another heavy choice lay with him and he was tired of doing everything but pulling the trigger. All Cas had been through and they needed to ask more of him. To break through the innocence and bring back the broken angel once more. His body wouldn't be able to take such an offence. Dean knew that now.

"Please Bobby, there has to be another way. I-I can't do it." Dean gripped the table, knuckles white. His voice was rough with emotion and Bobby couldn't look into his eyes.

"Dean, we don't have much time or choice." Sam placed a hand on his brother's shoulder as Dean closed his grip on the table tighter as torrents of emotion left him sick and dizzy.

"No. Not Cas. Not this time. Not Cas damn it. Please not Cas…" Dean looked at the others and his heart fell into grief. He knew then that a decision had already been made.

.

Castiel felt short shallow gasps tremble through his chest. He sat up in the darkness as he felt something calling to him.

"_Castiel…bring us home Castiel…" _

Castiel shook his head at their velvety voices. Blood and filth chocked him and he climbed out of bed. Something tugged at him as his mind began to grow dull and fuzzy. One step led him closer to the door and a few more took him into the still night. Cold air rushed over his face as he gave into the voices once more.

"_Move your feet, that's it. Home. Take us to the water."_

His mind fought back feebly but the call was too strong. His feet moved of soft dewy grass and the moonlight began to swallow him in pieces as he stumbled under trees. A hand was raised to ward off the offensive light but the voices insisted.

"_Hurry Castiel. Hurry!"_

In a blind daze the angel staggered forward. Thoughts of Dean filled his mind and he gasped as clean air filled his burning lungs. Poisoned muck escaped his throat as he coughed harshly. He found himself at the edge of a bank. Reeds bent silently to the assaulting wind and even the smallest animals buried themselves deeper into the cool mud. Castiel fell on his knees in wet mud as he heaved painfully into the water. Something called him forward and he fought the voice. Nails bit into the thick clay at the edge as they tore and bled.

"_Fight Castiel, fight!" _

A new voice rang in his mind but it was swallowed by the greedy crooning of a hundred voices. Castiel crawled into the shallows and fish fled from his scrambling hands. He swallowed a mouthful of water only to spit out more darkness into the cool water. Dark lines darted away from him and Castiel could hear them hum happily as they crept throughout the lake. One squiggled away and slithered through an old pipe. More and more his body fought to be rid of them.

"_Fight it brother. Fight it!" _Castiel glanced warily around as his eyes teared up from the monsters forcing themselves out of his throat. _"Get out of the water. Quickly."_

Castiel nodded to the voice and slowly turned around. Mud squelched hideously under his trembling knees as he fought to keep his head out of the water. He clambered back up the bank as the chorus of voices beat at the back of his screaming mind. He lay still in the dirt as footsteps picked their way towards him.

"Cas! Damn it Cas!" Dean came running down to the bank, Sam and Bobby not far behind him. Dean slipped into the mud as well but he ignored the cold grime that fought for his skin. Castiel began to cry out of weariness and fear as he felt Dean's protective arms around him once more.

"Dean! Look out!" Sam whipped out the knife as a figure snuck out from behind a tree and attacked the figures prone on the ground. Another slipped out of hiding and Sam watched in horror as the man's mouth widened unnaturally. Sharp teeth glinted and a forked tongue grazed Sam's check. "Leviathans!"

Dean stood in front of the angel as he pulled out a flask of soap and water. He ripped the lid off with his teeth before chucking it like a hand grenade into one of the monster's faces. Flesh bubbled as an evil smelling smoke burned it away. Sam chopped off the head of the one closest to him and Dean was about to do the same to the now disfigured Leviathan but Bobby stopped him.

"Don't kill him you idgit!" Bobby pushed Dean's arm out of the way. "I bet we could get some information out of his sorry ass."

Dean nodded and stayed his hand. He tucked the knife away before lifting up the angel by his arm pits. "Cas, are…are you still with us?"

Castiel nodded weakly as he gripped onto Dean's strong arms. "Dean…you saved me." Castiel rested his head against Dean's chest as he felt the hunter's warmth surrounding him once more.

Dean felt pain grip at his heart as he felt Castiel's weakened body lean into him, trust in the deepest blue eyes he had ever seen. If Castiel made it to the next morning it was up to him to feed him back his memories one at a time. He had already remembered hell but nothing had broken the angel like the future. Blood on his hands and agonizingly sorry he would become himself once more. If the poison in his body didn't get to him first, the memories that Dean would give him would be more than enough to destroy his tormented mind.

.

Castiel slept quietly with his head resting on Dean's jacket as the hunter paced around the Leviathan tied to a chair in the middle of Bobby's kitchen. A bucket of soapy water sat next to his boot as it left a ring into the old wood of the floor. He had been going at this for over an hour and now the monster was weakening. It worried Dean that a mere crony had resisted his attempts for so long.

"What is the game plan, eh fish food breath?" Dean moved around the chair slowly once more as the Leviathan glared at him.

"The angel is the plan."

Dean held back his emotions as he looked coldly down at the monster. "And what does Dick plan on doing with him?"

"Nothing you can stop." The monster smiled over at the sleeping angel.

"Then why don't you go ahead and tell us?" A hint of worry crept into his voice as he locked eyes with Sam across the room.

"Purgatory. He is our vessel. Even now more of my brothers and sisters are still within him. And when She returns, it will be through him."

Dean grabbed the monster's jacket by the lapels. "Who? When who returns you son of a bitch?" Dean jumped back as the monster's head reared back. He watched in horror as the monster proceeded to eat of its own head, blood spattering the horrified hunters in front of him.

"Balls!" Bobby tried to get the monster to stop before a final sickening noise of flesh tearing left behind nothing.

"I think I'm gonna be sick!" Dean covered his mouth as he heard Sam gag next to him.

They were they were left the thankless task of mopping up Bobby's floor after the horrible show. Dean made it to the bathroom first and was soon curled up with his angel once more. He fit the smaller body against his own as his heart throbbed with worry and guilt. Hot water washed off the filth and left behind the unclean feelings. He couldn't do it. No matter what the Leviathans had planned for his poor Cas, he wouldn't be the one to kill him once more. He buried his face against soft brown hair as he let a hand trail over the angel's wings. He set aside a few more lose feathers on the edge of the tub as he felt the angel stir. Castiel's eyes opened and he smiled softly back at the hunter.

"Dean."

Dean smiled at him as he cupped his cheek with one hand. "Hey you. Still hanging in there?"

Castiel nodded as he pressed his forehead against the hunter's. "Yes. Thanks to you." He leaned against Dean's chest and sighed contentedly as he felt strong hands running through his hair.

Dean swallowed guiltily before placing a soft kiss on the angel's temple. Castiel tilted his head more to the side, offering more skin for Dean. He relaxed as he felt Dean's mouth trail over his neck and he turned his face to him with a slight smile. Dean returned it before leaning in and placing a soft kiss on the angel's mouth. Castiel opened up his mouth more as if to allow Dean to forget the guilt. To forget what could happen when the morning crept into the house in small circles of sun. Dean showed him what to do as they spent the night to forget while giving themselves something to remember.

Pale and sick, Castiel still had an ethereal beauty to him that Dean found himself drunk off of. He lay tangled in the soft white sheets of Dean's bed. Dark eye lashes lay closed as Dean kissed him again. Castiel tangled his hands into the light hair of the man that trapped him beneath his tanned body. He sighed softly as he felt Dean kiss along his collar bone. Love. He could feel it radiating from Dean as he slipped a hand between them and took away the exhaustion and fear with the feelings of a quiet pleasure. Castiel whimpered as he felt Dean's hand on him, gentle but strong. Dean's name tumbled out of his mouth and was all he could think of. He slid his hands over Dean's back and kept away from Dean's shoulder. If Dean noticed, he didn't say anything.

"Cas, I know there are things you don't remember, but even with all your memories I never told you." Dean found the angel's mouth once more before being pushed away softly.

"What didn't you tell me Dean?" Castiel pressed his nose happily against Dean's.

"…I love you Cas." Dean tangled his fingers into Castiel's untidy hair and kissed him again. "I love you and no matter what has happened, or will happen…I won't stop."

Castiel looked at him in wonder as he felt a light flush heat his cold body. "If love is what I am feeling, then I love you too Dean."

"I know Cas. From the very beginning you loved me. Even until…"

Castiel pulled Dean closer. "Until?"

"I lost you for a while Cas, and things weren't good between us."

'What happened?" Castiel looked curiously at him.

"Not tonight Cas, please. Can we just forget everything for one night?"

Castiel nodded slowly before Dean was on him once more, kissing him everywhere. As Dean finally slipped into the warm body below his he met blue eyes once more and was lost. He hardly knew what he was saying anymore as he moved in deeper and deeper, whispering soft things against the angel's exposed neck. Everything was Dean and any fears and pain that plagued him were gone. Dean's hips rocked and Castiel grabbed onto him tightly. This time he was safe in Dean's arms as the man pulled him from hell and brought him closer to heaven with every thrust. Pleasure clouded his mind as Castiel gave in and let himself simply feel everything.

"Dean, I, Dean!" Castiel dug his nails into Dean's back as a final thrust sent his head spinning with all the feelings in the world he didn't know he could feel.

They lay breathless in the once more quiet night. The feelings of ecstasy softened only slightly as their breathing evened out and sleep fought them.

"Cas…"

"Mmmm?" Castiel bumped his forehead gently against Dean's and rested it there.

"I mean it, no matter what happens-"

Castiel leaned in and kissed him once more. "No more Dean, I know. I trust you." The angel slept quietly against Dean's chest as he ran a through soft feathers. Tomorrow he could lose him. Dean would do whatever he could to keep him alive. He owed it to the angel that had stopped at nothing to save him and now lay in his arms, in love with him once more.

**Looong chapter, but you guys deserve it!**

**-Paperganstah**


	6. Tear Down the Wall

***Trumpet fanfare* Here is your next chapter! Part of it is dream sequence like and if it is too confusing, be sure to leave me a message and I will clean it up or explain. Thank you so much reviewers, your reviews are always freaking awesome and thanks to you I can't stop writing this. **

**The Mysterious Shadow-Why thank you! Very true, we have been through much watching poor Cas being tormented on the show, at least he has Dean in here :p Haha I'm betting you are hungry every time you read this story? I bet even lemon wouldn't make the Leviathans taste better!**

**Ventorum- Yup, time for Dean to get back into the game. But who could resist needy Cas? I sure can't!**

**Casismyfavorite- Thanks! Yeah I figure it is better having the old coot around so Sam and Dean will stop being idgits in this situation. Haha you are welcome, it was very fun to write.**

**IzzyGirl45- THANK YOU! I felt like I chugged fizzy lifting drink after reading your review, very flattering. Yeah I liked parts of episode 17 but the end was horrifying! Sam and Dean would NEVER do that to Cas! Glad you like this story and have questions, I will be sure to keep you on your toes! Thank youuuuuuuuu!**

"Tear Down the Wall"

Castiel had never been truly happy in an honest sense of the word. He had been a follower until Dean raised him up to his same level. Friendship was something the angel thought he knew. Loyalty. That was all that was needed when the funniest angel in the garrison was someone as unfunny and cruel as Uriel. Loyalty was a virtue that looked nice and doable in the crisp pages of a dictionary. It was an ideal. Castiel learned many things from falling from heaven. Castiel found that like humans, angels were also not so perfect and their sense of justice was often wrong. Even Sam and Dean who would die for each other fought now and again. Uriel betrayed him. As did Anna…Balthazar….Rachel. Sam left his brother for a demon and jumpstarted the apocalypse. Dean eventually forgave him.

Castiel had not been confused as to why Dean refused to look at him in the final moments. He had betrayed Dean. The hunter gave him the orders to stop but Castiel knew had no choice. It hurt to watch his friends plot on how to destroy him just as it had hurt to find how many of his siblings were ready to bleed him dry.

He became a leader. For a brief period of time he called the shots. He knew the weight that was on Dean's shoulders for it was on his own as well. The fear that he was wrong. The fear that he was right. Dean became Castiel's ideal and he had been wrong. He had realized that Dean really didn't know what the hell he was doing most of the time. When Dean was too broken to see that Michael was the greater of two evils Castiel had literally beat the sense right back into him. But this time he had left him alone.

Damned if he hadn't tried to get Dean to see his side. He pleaded for him to listen, to understand or even try to understand. When he looked into the Hunter's cold green eyes he had known it was hopeless. Dean did not love him in the way he loved Sam. Dean did not love him in the same way he put up with his father's harsh life style or worshipped Led Zeppelin with every replay of a worn out tape. Castiel was a soldier and a sometimes friend. The kind needed only when there was a task at times. How many times had he dreamt that Dean would call him down just because? Maybe even an angel of the lord was lonely sometimes.

Was it possible that he felt the same fears as a human even if he was not? Dean told himself again and again that Cas was tough for a nerdy angel. He had seen him fearlessly kill even his own family without much complaint. He never realized that Castiel constantly faced the same monster again and again leaving him breathless and afraid. He hated to be by himself. He never knew what to think or do without someone else's approval until he saw what had happened to his home. God was gone and he was alone.

For the first time in his life was happy. Some strange feeling flowed through once dull veins and sparked up dead nerves. Strong arms wrapped around his body and he felt safe. Dean was here. Castiel listened to the hunter's breathing as he nestled against his chest. One hand trailed lazily over a muscled back and Cas felt the hunter twitch a little. Castiel peeked at him but saw that both eyes were closed. Asleep and peaceful. He liked seeing him this way. Dean always had to be the strong one and Cas could see how much it took out of him. He needed a break.

It felt wonderful to hide away from the world. To lock himself in a room with the most beautiful being he had ever seen. Dean lay with his eyes shut as the angel explored his body with curious hands. He tried not to grin when he felt Cas cuddle as close as possible before sighing contentedly against Dean's neck. Still he pretended to be asleep. The longer they stayed hidden in their quiet corner of the earth the rest of the world had to stay out. But he couldn't hide from everything. He could hear the painful wheezing in the angel's chest and he wished he could do something to help him. Castiel coughed and rested his head against Dean's cheek. Dean felt a soft mouth against his and could not resist kissing him back.

"Mmmm. You are awake?"

Dean grinned. Cas was so gullible. "Yeah, I've been asleep for the entire hour you were molesting me."

Castiel tilted his head to the side quizzically for a moment before his eyes widened. "You are saying that you were awake?"

"Hell yeah baby. It's just good to know that you still want my sexy body."

"Why wouldn't I?" Castiel looked confused and Dean smiled and kissed him.

"Exactly. Man I don't see how we didn't do this before."

Castiel smiled sadly at Dean. "We were scared before."

Dean nodded. "Yeah, plus the fact that both of us can be dumb sons of bitches, huh?"

Castiel nodded and actually laughed when he felt Dean attack his neck once more. "Dean!" Castiel pulled away with a laugh as he felt the hunter's nose right against his.

"Hey beautiful! You know what, I have never really heard you laugh before."

Castiel bumped his forehead against Dean's. "Well maybe you finally gave me a reason to."

"Woah, was that a burn from an angel? Niiiice!" Dean's hand moved over the angel's thin shoulder and onto his chest as he kissed him once more. Dean heard Sam's gigantor steps echoing in the hallway.

"Should we get out of bed?" Castiel glanced up at Dean waiting for his leadership once more.

"Nah, I can't get out of one with you in it!" Dean's mouth grazed over a sensitive nipple and the angel moaned loudly, much to Sam's horror when he was about to open the door.

Sam hurried awkwardly back to the kitchen. "They are still at it." Sam looked pinched.

"Leave those to idgit love birds alone for a while. If things go as planned this may be the last time they see each other."

Sam nodded and sighed. "I know Bobby. I just don't think that Dean is strong enough to take another hit. Especially if it involves Castiel."

"I know son, I know. Which is why we need to try and not kill him."

"Do you think we can? Not kill him I mean."

"I wish I knew. We're gonna do what we have to do."

"Yeah." Sam dropped a bottle cap in the trash can as Bobby glanced at him.

"Starting early? Don't go all 'Dean' on me boy." Sam gave him a tight smile. "Alrighty. Put that thing down and help me make some breakfast."

When Castiel and Dean finally made their way into the kitchen looking freshly showered the table was loaded. "Woah did someone go Gordon Ramsey on your ass Bobby?"

"Shut up Dean. I cook for your sorry butt all the time."

"Bacon? Sweet Jesus I'm in heaven." Dean wolfed down a piece of bacon has he sat sprawled in a chair.

Sam eyed his brother knowing that he was doing his best to not act worried around the angel. Dean laughed when Castiel spit out a mouthful of coffee looking disgusted. He grinned at Sam who offered one back. It was best to play along for now.

They spent the next few hours refusing to acknowledge the task at hand. Castiel rested in Dean's arms as they listened to Bobby recounting the story of how he had once mixed up a Rugaru with a vampire on one of his early cases. Laughter rang through the small house as beer bottles started to line up along the bottom of the couch. Castiel eyed Dean, noticing the way he sighed and looked out the window or laughed just barely too late at a joke to be believable.

"What is wrong Dean?"

Dean sighed. "It's just…we have to ask for you to possibly die for us again."

"You don't have to be so blunt you idigt!" He placed a hand on the angel's shoulder as he looked confused at the hunters. "We need Dean to get the rest of those memories out of you Cas. You seem to get sicker every time we do, so we really don't know what will happen if we go at it for a longer time."

"Of course. I understand." Castiel took in a shaky breath as Dean gripped his hand tightly.

"We can't think of any other way to get a jump on the Leviathans. I am sorry Cas." Sam hugged the angel for the first time expecting him to feel as stiff as he usually acted. But the angel felt small and weak in his larger arms. Sam had been hopeful that Cas would survive this ordeal but with the current state he was in, Sam was no longer so sure.

"Why do you need my memories?" Castiel tried to not be sick in front of his friends as the voices in his head rallied with fear and anger. The Leviathans did not want the hunters to unlock the amnesiac angel's mind.

"We need locations. Info on possible game plans. We need to know who the hell 'she' is. No one on this earth has as any real lore on the Leviathans that is trustworthy. Most of it is all mythological." Bobby glanced over at the strangely silent Dean.

Castiel swallowed but looked determined as always. "What am I to do?"

"Just hang in there kid. That's as much as we can hope for."

"Dean. Should we…" Castiel reached out a hand to Dean and looked surprised at the light shine of tears in his eyes. "Dean?"

"I can't do this. I can't. Damn it I won't hurt you again!" Dean turned away as he sobbed into his open palm.

"Dean?" Castiel slowly made his way over and wrapped his arms around him from behind. "I can do this. Please don't grieve any more for me. I am still not the Castiel you once knew."

Dean felt the angel murmur softly against his back and broke down harder. "Of course you are you dumb son of a bitch. You've forgotten a shit ton of things but that doesn't change who you are. No matter what crap we went through I loved you."

Castiel smiled lightly against Dean's broad back. "I must have been very lucky to have known you for so long."

"No, I wasted the time. Cas, I never once told you how I felt and then you were dead at the bottom of the lake and all I had left was your stupid dirty trench coat!"

Castiel turned Dean around and kissed him roughly on the mouth. "Enough Dean. We can't change what happened. But please let me help you now." Castiel pulled Dean's shirt sleeve up and fitted his palm once more to the light scar in the shape of his own hand. He felt the skin hot under his hand once more as the lights flashed. A bulb shattered above them but the hunter and his angel were too lost to even notice. Blue and green eyes met and neither could look away.

_Memories of Dean flashed by. Castiel could remember the way it felt when Dean's knee rested against his in the park. He remember how he had felt when Anna kissed Dean. Jealousy and anger had become known to him and the alien feelings had never let him go. He remembered sitting next to Dean in the Impala as they talked wistfully about their absent fathers. _

Castiel's nails dug into Dean's shoulder as he felt other voices tearing through his mind.

'_Stop it Castiel! Stop him he will kill you. Why should you die again for him? He left you Castiel…just wait until you remember how it felt to be left all alone…"_

"Dean! Dean!" Castiel could feel blood and muck spilling from his mouth and ears. "Please stop Dean please stop it!" Angry bodiless voices shot through his blood and tore through his skin. Castiel let out a sob of fear as he felt the pressure becoming too much in his head.

"Cas! Hang in there son!" Bobby and Sam stood to the side, unsure of what to do.

"I'm trying Cas! Pull away, you can do it, pull away!" Castiel began to lift his hand away when a memory of his betrayal crept swiftly into his mind.

_Blood was on his hands and more_ _poured from his mouth and nose. He could no longer tell what was real and what was a dream of the past. His body was destroyed again and again only to be renewed for some unknown process. Assbutt. Dean and Sam still laughed at him for that. He had taken on his strongest brother out of love for the strange sense of family he had found in the Winchesters. Castiel knew that he had been brought back for some purpose when every cell in his body had been ruptured in a bloody mess at the mere snap of an archangel's fingers. The feelings of free will and bravery stayed with him. They were lessons that he would not soon forget, if he ever could. There was no going back to the shy, sweet Cas. He would no longer take orders from others. He was done worrying about what was wrong and right. He didn't have the luxury to grieve the lost lives that bleed out under his own hands. This time he believed in the greater good instead of reiterating a command. _

_He watched himself slink into the shadows as Dean openly disowned him. The look in Dean's green eyes nearly destroyed him. Castiel had never resisted him before no matter the consequence. But if Dean refused to see his side then at least he was no longer lying to the man. He would save Dean even if it meant losing him. Anything for Dean…_

A window crashed open and glass shattered into hair and glittered on skin. Sam pushed his hair out of his face as the wind howled into the room. His eyes caught onto the dark shapes leaking into the room.

"Dean!" More Leviathans!"

"Balls!" Bobby slowly made his way to the kitchen towards the soapy mop bucket that rarely made an appearance in the widower's house. "Keep em busy Sam!" He gripped onto a counter as the wind nearly took him down.

Sam took on two Leviathans at once as more circled around the angel and the man in the center of the room, blinded by the piercing light that surrounded them. "Dean? Can you hear me? Cas?" Sam felt a blade slice through his arm as he covered his face.

Castiel could hear Sam's voice but it sounded like he was under water. He was far away and danger was near. Castiel called to Dean for help as he focused all of his thoughts on the green-eyed hunter.

_Dean sat cleaning a gun as Sammy sipped out of a cup of juice. Thankfully his color was coming back. He had been ill for so long but like any Winchester he was as tough as nails. John was gone and Dean remembered to bolt the windows this time. He no longer felt resentful of playing parent to his young brother. He finally realized that Sammy had become his duty and if Dean made one mistake he could lose him forever. The Shtriga that had fed off of his brother's body was gone, but Dean would never forget his mistake._

_Dean's eyes widened a he felt his mind melding with Castiel's. Back and forth their memories played out before them. Some were the same memories but gave the perspective of the others. Some merely highlighted how lonely they both were. Back and forth the memories surged and both realized how much they truly were loved._

"_Cas?" Dean wandered into the beautiful room in Van ice California. He had lost Castiel somewhere in the sea of memories._

"_Dean?" Castiel stepped forward and tilted his head to the side curiously but his eyes were dark with grief. _

"_There you are you son of a bitch, I thought I had lost you." Dean pulled Castiel into his arms as he felt the sea of voices calling out to him. _

"_Dean Winchester. You must leave. Leave…"_

"_What the hell?" Dean glanced around suspiciously around for the alien voices._

"_You hear them too." Castiel pulled away from Dean._

"_Who?"_

"_The Leviathans. The all but damned souls that I stole away from purgatory." Castiel took in a deep sigh as he leaned against an ornate wall. _

"_This is what it is like? How the hell do you get these sons of bitches to shut up?"_

_Castiel shook his head slowly. "I can't. But you will. Leave Dean. Listen to them and leave!"_

"_No Cas, not without you." _

"_I need you to get back. Go! Sam and Bobby need you, I will hold them off before they swallow you too." The voices grew loudly, whispering shrilly in delight. Dean shivered at their hungry voices._

"_Cas…."_

"_GO!" Castiel pushed Dean towards the door and the hunter fell through it back into the world once more as the voices whispered gleefully. He could feel them ripping through the walls of his mind. There were so many of them…as extended both his hands outward as he fought to keep them back. But again and again they surged forward. He was losing._

"_Castiel. Castieeeeeeel. You are the one that will take us home…."_


	7. Waiting for the Storm

**Hey readers! Thank you for the reviews and favoriting of this story. Here is your next chapter! Please enjoy with relish not mustard. **

**IzzyGirl45- Thank you VERY MUCH! Wow :) I need to stop tormenting you poor readers with intense stories haha. I'm glad you like that, I hoped it would give Dean a chance to see what Cas really would do for him and for Cas to actually know what Dean thought about him for once. Thank you for a fantabulous review! Oh btw, my Easter was Egg-cellent! Sorry, I couldn't resist the bad joke. I need to stop writing stories with Dean lol**

**Ventorum- Thanks! I think they are sort of lame in the show so far, like cheap demons so it was time to give them a chance to act actually evil instead of Hungry Hungry Leviathans.**

**Casismyfavorite- Thanks! Maybe they can finally see eye to eye on things? We all know that Cas and Dean love each other, now it's their turn!**

**Keacdragon- Thank you and welcome aboard!**

**The Mysterious Shadow- Haha it really does! *orders La lemon Leviathan on the menu to look cultured at a fancy restaurant* Eww that's not what I ordered! Yep! The circle of life!**

"Waiting for the Storm"

Dean felt the angel collapse in his arms. He shivered lightly as sticky blood coated the front of his jacket. Castiel's grip had loosened on his shoulder and Dean could feel the torn skin of his shoulder bleeding lightly. Dean quickly set down the angel as a Leviathan came his way. He barely had time to get his mind used to the real world as a blade whistled past his ear. A cold hand gripped his neck and Dean fought to regain his breath. Dean fell to his knees and was about to collapse when he felt soapy water soak through his shirt.

"Take that you ugly idgit!"

"Thanks Bobby!" Dean gasped as he felt air fill up his lungs once more. "I thought I was a goner!"

Bobby tossed him a long bladed knife that he nearly missed. "Don't thank me until we make sure we aren't going to be dead in the next minute dumb ass!"

Dean nodded as he hurried over and cut the head off of a Leviathan that stood over his brother. "Sammy, are you alright?"

"Yeah man, I'm good." Sam gripped his older brother's hand and let him pull him to his feet. Sam picked up his knife from the floor as he grappled with yet another slimy monster.

Dean ripped his knife through another neck and noticed a monster slinking towards Castiel's limp form. "Oh no you don't you son of a bitch!" Dean rushed over and nearly felt his heart stop in relief when he saw the angel's blue eyes open slightly. "Cas!" Look out CAS-" a cold blade went through Dean's stomach and he felt shockwaves shoot through his body. Pain lazily took a back seat as he gazed down at the tear in his midsection.

"Dean!" Sam tried to get away from the Leviathans he was fighting but his brother was too far away. Bobby nearly got his head taken off as he looked on in horror.

The knife trailed upwards through the hunter's chest and Dean could feel the blood burbling out from the corners of his mouth. "Cas…I…" Dean swayed and his knees hit the floor. "Cas…"

Castiel struggled over to Dean as the voices screamed in his head. Blood escaped through his mouth and his brain didn't seem to be working properly. He placed a cold hand over Dean's wound and closed his eyes as the skin below his palm glowed lightly. Skin began to reknit itself and Castiel felt the last of the slippery blood on his lover's body ebb backwards.

Dean's eyes opened as he felt the gash healing. They fell on Castiel and he watched the strange light emulating off of his palm. The normally clear light was perverted with a murkier color. Dean felt something try to crawl into the almost healed wound and he gave a shout in horror.

"CAS, STOP!" The angel tugged away his hand as he stared at Dean with crazed eyes. He was frighteningly pale and Dean could tell that he was barely holding on. "Oh no you don't Cas. We aren't losing you again. Come on Cas." Dean stared into the unfocused irises. "Come on Cas!" Something slimy and black slipped over the floor and Dean stomped on it.

"What the hell was that?"

"Beats me. I have never seen anything like it." Bobby stared down at the black sludge on his floor and shook his head. "Are you alright now? I saw you get stabbed in the guts, how are you still with us?"

"It was Cas. He healed most of it." Dean winced as a light trickle of blood leaked from the still open wound. "That sludge monster tried to crawl in. Looked like something out of Fern Gully." He pushed back Castiel's hair as he watched the angel's eyes go in and out of focus.

"What's up with Cas?" Sam held a kitchen towel to his bleeding arm as Dean shook his head.

"We don't know. He's alive, but Cas is not in the building. Or at least in the right building." He watched blue eyes widen in horror as a gasp escaped his trembling mouth. "Something is really wrong with him."

.

He ran through doorways but they were always quick on his heels. The thirsted for things he did not understand and would not give. Doors slammed behind him as he hurried through a blurred world. He heard a voice shout his name but the tone was different than that of the Leviathans.

"Castiel!"

Castiel burst through the door and slammed it behind him as an afternoon sun blinded his sensitive eyes. Green grass was ruffled by a warm breeze and flowers sat in neat colorful clumps. Heaven? Castiel took a step forward and whirled to his left at the sound of a slight noise.

"There you are brother, it took you long enough!" Castiel's eyes widened when they fell on the small group of angels in front of him.

"You look good Cassie, apart from being ghostly pale and bloody."

"Are you alright Castiel?" Anna pulled her brother into her arms as he glanced wildly back and forth at Gabriel and Balthazar.

"I am unsure of the answer to your question." Castiel glanced around. "Where are we?"

"Your grapefruit. You seem to be going a little nutso bro." Gabriel smirked at the baffled look on the other angel's face.

"I…I don't understand."

Balthazar stepped forward and placed a hand on his shoulder. "You got a little greedy there Cas, when you were so obsessed with killing our dear Raphie."

"You didn't just think you glugged down human souls like a purgatory Thirst Buster did you?"

"No. I know that the Leviathans came as well. Why are you here? You are all dead."

"Thanks for the news update, better put that one on Facebook. We were stuck in there as well."

"Purgatory?" Castiel looked horrified.

"Yes Cassie. Looks like we rebellious angels got what was coming to us. You'd better keep on your toes as well or it looks like this will be your home too."

Castiel glanced down at the ground in shame. "I am sorry for what I did to you brother."

"What, for killing me? I had it coming my darling brother. Besides, we aren't here to tear you a new one."

Anna smiled. "We are here to help Cas."

"I heard Gabriel…when I was in the lake last night. He told me to get out of the water."

Gabriel looked delighted. "I told you guys that it would work, didn't I?"

Castiel nodded slowly. "Why are you helping me? None of us were really friends in the end."

"Ahh but it is not the end Cassie. You see, you are still a nuke chock full of Leviathans."

Castiel sighed. "I know."

"Jeeze, let us finish. You need to get all of those monsters back into purgatory."

Anna nodded. "Get them back through the gate Castiel."

"It's pointless. We tried that already. The gate is gone."

"Wrong. Cas, you are the gate."

Castiel looked baffled. "I am the what?"

"The gate. As long as you are milling about out here you are carrying those monsters into the water sources they need for survival. You are letting them take over the world."

Castiel swallowed. "What am I to do?"

"You will open the gate Castiel, and jump through. You cannot hold back for anything this time."

"I don't know what you mean." Castiel glanced away as a sick feeling crawled through his body.

Anna gripped his hand sympathetically. "You couldn't leave Dean. If you hadn't been so distracted you could have fought off their hold until you made it through the wall. To make everything right again, you must die."

"Open the wall Castiel. We will be waiting right here for you. Then we can have a real family reunion with a stripper cake and everything!"

Castiel smiled lightly at Gabriel but he could feel the ice in his veins. He would have to leave Dean. All this and still they would never be together. Castiel slowly made his way back through the strangely silent door without looking back. His siblings stood behind him as blackness leaked out of their eyes.

"Mother, he is coming."

.

"Cas! Cas! Hang in there, come on Cas!" Castiel awoke to Dean shouting in his face and Bobby and Sam invading his personal space.

"The idgit's awake! Give him some space." Sam sat back but Dean wrapped his arms around the angel who shivered lightly.

"Are you cold baby?" Castiel nodded as he buried his face into Dean's shoulder. "You had me worried there, Cas."

Castiel smiled weakly back. "And you? You are hurt Dean. Let me help-"

"No!" Castiel looked taken aback, "I mean it's alright. Cas? Something is wrong with your grace."

Castiel looked ill. "Dean, what's wrong with me?"

"Shhh. We are going to fix you. Just hang in there for me and I will find a way to save you."

"I love you Dean." Castiel rested his forehead against the hunter's as their eyes met.

Dean felt something wet against his cheek and saw that the angel was crying. "Damn it, I am going to make sure that those shit holes never hurt you again. Cas, we are going to get through this. " Castiel nodded but felt cold inside. He slept fitfully on the couch while Bobby patched Dean up in the kitchen.

"Damn it Bobby! I'm a human and this is not a sewing circle you son of a bitch!"

"Quiet down dumb ass. Maybe this wouldn't hurt so bad if you weren't a pansy."

Castiel smiled softly as he heard them arguing. The couch dipped lightly and Castiel peeked at the younger Winchester brother. "Hey Castiel, how are you feeling?"

"Fine. I am sorry I cannot heal your arm."

"Look man, you don't have to worry. Bobby did his best work on it."

"I am sorry about what I did to you…breaking down the wall."

Sam glanced down at him. "You remember that?"

"Yes. I remember everything."

"Do you know what happened when you…died?" Sam shifted uncomfortably.

Castiel shook his head slowly. "I remembered giving back the souls and then…nothing."

Sam sighed audibly. "That means you are still short some memories. We have no idea how long you were alive after that…"

Castiel hung his head. "Again, I apologize. I wish I could be more helpful since I am at fault for everything that has happened."

"Cas. Hey. I know you didn't mean for any of that stuff to happen. I'm sure no one has forgotten that I'm the one who started the apocalypse in the first place."

"And you fixed it." Castiel looked surprised when the taller man hugged him.

"And so will you. Look man, you don't have to carry all this weight alone. We've all done some crappy things but what counts is that we pull through. Every time we are faced with something we do everything we can to stop. We're here so let us help. We haven't always been on the best of terms but I consider you my friend and I don't want you to be hurt."

"Thank you Sam…" Castiel carefully hugged him back glad to be at peace with his friend once more. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it Cas. Just hang in there for Dean, alright? He needs you." Sam walked back into the kitchen as Dean howled once more from Bobby's attempts at surgery. Cas felt horrible. He needed to leave them once more and again he was holding back information.

Dean came into the room looking a bit pale. "Man I think I would have a better chance at survival with Dr. Frankenstein. Good thing Bobby is not a doctor or he would kill anyone not as tough as me." He took a swig out of a bottle.

"Are you still in pain?" Castiel glanced up at him looking concerned.

"Nah Cas. Don't worry, I think a little lovin' from you and I will be back on my feet in no time." Dean plopped down on the couch and pulled the angel into his arms.

"You are a baby Dean."

Dean leaned over and kissed him softly. "Good. That means you get to take care of me."

"I will." Castiel looked solemnly at him.

"Damn it Cas, I love you."

"Please Dean. I-I need you tonight." The angel looked up at Dean, grief still slipping out of blue eyes.

"You don't ever have to ask baby. But are you sure you are up to anything?" Castiel leaned over and kissed him hard on the mouth. Dean didn't need to ask again.

Light shadows crossed over fair skin. Soft and flawless. Dean lay back on his pillow with a stupid grin on his face as Castiel climbed onto his lap.

"Let me see your wings Cas."

Castiel shook his head as he kissed Dean's palm lightly. "You don't want to see them."

"I already have you cute little son of a bitch, And you know what?"

"What?" Castiel tilted his head to the side curiously.

"I like them. They are beautiful Cas and you shouldn't be ashamed of them.

Castiel rested his forehead against Dean's as he gazed intensely into his eyes. "Do you mean that?"

"I sure do. Come on baby." Castiel bit his lip for a moment and nodded. Dean felt soft feathers in between his feather once more and he grinned at Castiel. He saw the way the angel looked away from him with his body stiff. "Cas, I wasn't lying."

"I believe you. I am just not used to…anyone liking them."

Dean frowned as he gently ran his hands over feathers. "Who doesn't like them? I'll kill any son of a bitch who says anything-"

Castiel smiled softly at Dean. "It doesn't matter. All that matters is that you like them."

"And I do." Dean kissed the angel softly as a few feathers remained in his palm. "Cas, I want you to promise me something."

"Of course Dean. I would hope that you know that I would do anything for you."

"Good. I want you to promise me that you will do whatever you can to survive this. I can't lose you again."

Castiel pressed his smaller hand against Dean's. "I will do what I can. But you come first."

"I didn't last night." Dean winked at Castiel and rolled his eyes when the angel didn't pick up on the joke like usual. "But seriously, I am not letting you go again. No matter what happens you are stuck with me."

Castiel smiled and planted a kiss on Dean's temple. "I wouldn't want it any other way."

He spent the night in the hunter's arms as he wondered how he could possibly leave him again. They always seemed to lose so much and gain so little. Dean needed to live. That was priority one. If Castiel could help it he hoped to be there with Dean again when the monsters could no longer feed off of his dying body and were trapped within the walls of purgatory.


	8. No Light

**Hey guys! I want to apologize for this chapter taking forever :/ I just finished school for the semester so now I can actually update regularly whoohooo! Sorry for the horribly long wait and I hope you enjoy the chapter. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, favorite, alerted, or read this story…so thanks to you!**

**The Mysterious Shadow- Haha nice use of assbutt! I know this season is killing me, I want things back to normal with Cas and Dean! Very true. If anyone can save our holy tax accountant it's Dean.**

**MemoriesofNobody- Thank you! Well *wink wink* you won't have to wait long to see them again!**

**IzzyGirl45- Well if these Leviathans were like the ones in the show I'm sure you could kick all of their lame asses!**

**BlackInkling- Okay…it isn't over!**

**RedStalkingDeath- Why thank you, sorry for scaring you! Nope I am going to finish this story, I swear!**

"No Light"

The night was still and quiet. Castiel listened to the soft breathing of his Winchester as the man wrapped his arm around him tighter. Never had he wanted to be somewhere he couldn't be so badly. Wind whipped past closed windows and a light rain drummed on the roof tiles. Dean was warm against his skin but inside he felt cold. Every time he summoned the strength to slip away he felt a hand tighten on his arm. Castiel sighed. Dean snored softly and Castiel smiled before pulling the blanket over his shoulders. He scooted to the edge of the bed and sat there quietly for a minute. He rested his head in his hands and watched shadows grow across a thread bare rug. He could feel a painful wheezing beginning in his chest once more and knew that he needed to leave. If he didn't go now, it would be too late. His eyes widened when he felt bare arms wrap around him.

"Hey Cas, can't sleep?" Castiel nodded quietly. "Cas? Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing Dean." Castiel felt comforted when he felt Dean's chin resting on his hair.

Dean frowned. "Cas? You know that you suck at lying, right?" Castiel looked surprised as Dean chuckled and pulled him closer before flopping back on the mattress.

Castiel sighed. "I'm sorry Dean." He felt Dean's mouth soft and questioning on the side of his neck.

"Come on baby. I know when you are like this you are trying to hide something. Talk to me Cas."

"It's nothing Dean, please just go back to sleep." Castiel fixed his eyes on the wall as Dean pulled him in closer and pressed his nose against the angel's neck.

"You're leaving."

Castiel looked surprised back at Dean as the hunter laughed bitterly. "Believe me Cas, I've had enough people walk out on me during my life. I know what it looks like."

"Dean…" Dean grasped the angel's wrists and pinned him onto the mattress as Castiel breathed heavily; overworked lungs already straining.

"No Cas, haven't you learned a damn thing from all of this? We're shit deep in with the Leviathans because you tried to sneak off before."

Castiel tried to pull away from Dean and his thin wrists trembled in an unrelenting grip. "I-I have no choice Dean. We are… "shit deep" in these problems due to my actions, are we not? Then it is my role to fix what I can."

"No. Cas…" Dean tried to capture evasive blue eyes with his own. "You're one of us now. And damned if I'm going to lose you again." Dean let his fingertips trace over Castiel's back as the angel resisted. Too soon and his will wavered. It felt good to lean into the strong warmth of Dean Winchester. A sigh was interrupted by a harsh bought of coughing as his body rejected the monsters growing inside of him.

"I can't hurt you again Dean."

Dean smiled as he placed a kiss on the angel's temple. "Then don't die on me again. I would rather have my guts ripped out of my butt hole then-"

Castiel covered Dean's mouth as his lips twitched into a smile. "Dean, I believe that I see your point."

"Good to hear Cas. Now get over here so I can love up your sweet body again."

An hour later Dean was out cold once more as Castiel slipped away from his quiet snores. He pulled on a pair of jeans and a t shirt as quietly as possible. One of Dean's large flannel shirts warmed his slighter shoulders as he left the man behind once more. He closed his eyes for a moment. The door handle felt icy as if warning him to stay in the safe warm arms of Dean Winchester. But he knew that he had to leave. Every day was becoming a setback for him and Castiel knew that he couldn't handle the sickness much longer. His blood burned with angry voices. His hands shook with a never ending chill.

He rubbed his eyes wearily as he took in a deep breath. Dark wings unfurled silently. Castiel gripped onto the splintered railing of the old house as he summoned as much of his strength as he could. In a quiet flash of wings he was gone.

Dean wasn't mad when he found the bed cold and vacant in the morning. The sheets were barely wrinkled. The pillow was kept at a horizontal angle. Nothing was left to suggest that Dean had not been alone that night. That he hadn't shared his bed with a blue eyed angel in passion and peace for the past few days. He sighed as he felt cool air whisper over his bare skin. His heart felt heavily as he noticed the red blood spattered on the pillow. Cas had left him again. Tears fought him and won. He knew that Cas had no choice. Damn it, he would have done the same thing.

But he hated the thought of his Cas forcing his body out into the lonely black night. Cas was once more heading into danger but this time he also carried it with him. Dean wanted to pull his shivering body against his own once more. He wanted to comfort him as his ragged breathing kept his blue eyes open with pain and away from the peace of dreams.

Dean knew Cas was leaving the moment he crawled into bed that night and quietly let Dean love him. The hunter slipped into the clothes he had left on the floor trying to forget that Castiel's were missing. That there was some reason Cas needed to pull them on before the morning sun found them first. Dean told himself it was best to let him go this time. He couldn't let Cas shy away from him and become secretive once more.

He stood in the kitchen debating sending out a prayer to Cas. He dropped an empty bottle into the ash and sighed as he heard Bobby make his way into the kitchen.

"What're you doing up so early?" Dean shook his head as he poured whiskey into a glass. "Where's your angel?"

"Gone." Dean's voice was harsh even to his own ears.

"What? You just let him waltz out of here you dumb ass?"

Dean glowered. "Yes I did Bobby. That was the mistake I made last time. I tried to fight him and he went nutty."

Bobby rolled his eyes. "You idgit! Haven't you learned anything from all this?"

Dean looked surprised at Bobby through blood shot eyes. "Damn it Bobby, do I really look like I need a lecture right now?"

"Well besides looking like a whiny piece of crap you do look like you need a lecture." Dean shot him a glowering look and took a swig of the amber liquid. "Give me that." Bobby snatched the glass away from Dean and slammed it on the counter. "Grab some coffee to help get yourself right again. I'm gonna go wake up Sam."

"I don't need him bitching me out too!"

Bobby placed the whiskey back on the shelf before turning around to eye Dean. "This ain't about you." He pushed a steaming mug of coffee into Dean's hands. "Drink that up. We are going to get Cas."

Dean spit out the coffee furiously. "No way! There's no way we can even find the poor son of a bitch now!"

"Oh so the plan is to give up on him again?" Bobby folded his arms as Dean looked furious at him. "What are you just going to use that trench coat of his to mop up your tears when he dies for good this time?"

"No! Cas obviously doesn't want me to go with him so this time, I'm listening."

Bobby rolled his eyes. "Shut your yapper and stop being so damn dramatic. I get what's going on. Cas is going somewhere to set things right and he obviously knows it's dangerous. Even the state he's in he is still more worried about your sorry ass than his own. Kid needs us, so shut up and pack up." Bobby walked down the hallway to wake up Sam. Dean sat at the table with his head in his hands when he felt his eyes close for a moment.

.

He was falling. Cold rain soaked through his clothing as he felt wind whistle past his ears. Mud splattered around him as he fell painfully onto the ground. He lay dazed for a moment before his lungs began to burn once more and he rolled onto his knees. His hands buried themselves into the thick mud and he retched; blood and muck washed away in sheets of rain.

"Castiel. Castieeeeeeeeeeeeeel!" He heard a voice in his head that sounded apart from the others, one that he found comforting in its familiarity. Castiel raised his head weakly when he felt another body collide with his. His eyes widened when he felt white feathers brush past his face.

"Brother?" Castiel gripped onto the other angel's shoulders as he took in a shuddering breath. "But…you were dead? I thought you were in purgatory?"

"What? Why would I be there? Totally not my kind of scene." Gabriel gave him a wide grin but Castiel could tell that something was wrong. His older brother was pale with dark creases under his mischievous eyes. His skin looked burnt in some areas, like a painful red rash.

"I saw you there…with Anna and Balthazar…" Castiel tilted his head in confusion.

"But Cas, I saw _you _there. You and the rest of our Brady Bunch told me to head to some gateway. Something about saving your butts. Speaking of which, your butt looks like it has been properly kicked."

"Yours as well. What is wrong with you? You look terrible."

Gabriel grinned. "Thanks sunshine, you know how to make me feel my sexiest. As it turns out, I am not really sure."

"But if you were dead…how are you here now?" Castiel suspiciously poked his brother in the chest, checking to make certain he was really there.

"I don't know. I woke up in a white room that looked straight out of a bad sci-fi flick. I heard rumors about what you had been up to while I was gone…"

Castiel gazed shamefaced at the ground Gabriel patted his back as he hunted for a tootsie pop in his pocket and handed it to Castiel before digging out a chocolate one and popping it into his mouth. Gabriel coughed and Castiel watched in horror as his brother pulled his hand away from his mouth, blood and oily black remaining.

"You too? Gabriel…what is happening to us?" Castiel hugged his brother with wide eyes and he heard him wheeze against his chest.

Gabriel sighed as he hugged his little brother back. "Something very wrong lil bro." He noticed the tear streaks running down Castiel's face. "Castiel?"

"I-I left Dean." Castiel sat there sobbing as the exhaustion of the past days came crashing over him. He felt pain and fear and an inconsolable need for Dean to hold him again.

"Ohhhhh. You and Dean hooked up when I was gone?"

Castiel sniffled as he felt his brother run a hand over his hair. Never before had one of his siblings treated him this way before. Cold and distant the angels acted like they were merely brainwashed soldiers and felt nothing for each other. In this moment he knew. Gabriel was here and he loved him. And Castiel figured that he loved him too. The stumbled out of the mud and clung to each other as they made their way forward. They now knew that something was setting them up and that they were very likely walking into a trap, but what other choice did they have? The monsters grew stronger each day and when they fled their bodies they wormed their ways into the bodies of innocent people.

.

Lights flicked on and the Impala roared down the road. This time they headed to the gate with the intention of saving their angel's life. Music blasted through the silence as Dean barely slowed down in time without alerting the attention of a well-hidden cop car. He gripped the steering wheel as he prayed to whoever that Cas was out there alive. He nearly drove them into a ravine as he felt something explode through his mind.

_He felt Castiel's presence quiet and comforting in his mind and saw for a moment the gray night through blue eyes. He felt the pain in his body. The tired legs below him nearly gave out as something whispered in his blood. Gabriel? Gave him a cheesy smile as he led him down the road looking as ill as he felt-_

"What do you think you are doing you idgit?" Dean blinked in surprise when he realized that Sam was leaning over him to drive the car as Bobby shouted from the back seat.

"Dean, pull over!" Dean shakily pulled the car over to the side of the road and took in a deep breath as the headlights went cold and dark.

Dean ran a hand over his hair looking troubled. "What happened?"

"I think you passed out. Look man, if you need to sleep, I don't mind driving." Sam looked over his brother worriedly.

"It wasn't that. I-I had a vision."

Bobby gave him a quick glance. "You ain't going loopy on us are you?"

"No. I saw like I had before- through Cas' eyes. He's not doing well but someone was with him."

"Who?"

Dean shook his head slowly. "I don't know how but…it was Gabriel."

"Didn't that idgit get killed off a while back?"

Sam nodded looking shocked. "So someone is bringing back dead angels…what do the Leviathans want with them?"

Dean shook his head slowly. "I don't know." He restarted the engine. "But all I know is that we need to find Cas before he walks into something he can't fight. I've been an idiot this whole time. Let's hope I haven't killed him again."


	9. Breaking Down

**Thank you for returning to read and review the last chapter guys, I appreciate it :) As promised, here is your regularly scheduled program, enjoy!**

**Stephanswifey01- Thank you! Oh and thanks for reading my other stories too, I was like 'I know you from my other story lol!'**

**Ventorum- Very true. Someone needs to cuff those Winchesters into shape :) Oh, what did you think of this last half of the season? I know we shared the same views earlier and I am sure we still do!**

**Casismyfavorite- Haha thanks for reviewing both chapters! Damn it you guys are too sharp, glad things are staying interesting!**

**Keacdragon- Thank you :) yep shit is gonna hit the fannnnnnnnnnnn!**

**The Mysterious Shadow- Hmmm…maybe….*looks mysterious* Haha you always have the best ideas for those pesky Leviathans! Maybe it would sing like one of those Billy the Bass wall plaques.**

"Breaking Down"

All night and it never stopped raining. Gutters flooded with muddy water and took in more than their fill. Relentless drops beat down on the two angels as they made their way through the water. Asphalt became a river bed. It was a pale night where the moon remained shy. Castiel stumbled a few times and Gabriel fell into the water. It didn't matter though; they had already been completely soaked to their skin.

Castiel gripped his Gabriel's arm before he wandered into a storm drain. "Any word from Balthazar or from any of our other fallen brethren?"

Gabriel gave him a wry smile. "Looks like we're not that lucky. My channel of the angel radio is quiet. You?"

Castiel shook his head sadly. "No. I do not know if I should hope that they are alive or not. If we are part of something...I'm not sure death is the worse option."

"Looks like you haven't changed as much as I thought. You always were the most positive thinker of our brothers." Gabriel laughed when Castiel looked confused at him. "All I am saying is that I'm glad you are still you."

Castiel gave him a small half smile. Gabriel nearly choked on a lollipop that he stubbornly kept in his mouth as he coughed. His older brother was the much same and yet he seemed tired. Like the day when Castiel's Winchesters trapped him in the ring of holy fire. Gabriel was weaker than Castiel had ever seen him but he felt comforted by the hand that guided him forward. Their bodies were destroying themselves under the careful guidance of the Leviathans. So many damnable voices that Castiel could not listen to one but all at once. He spit out a mouthful of blood and stopped for a moment.

"Castiel? You still hanging in there Broskey?"

Castiel nodded slowly before gripping his brother's hand and dragging him forwards.

.

Rain drummed down on the black roof as Dean attempted to call Cas over for the millionth time. "Cas, if you can hear me, try and gather enough mojo to zap here." Dean squinted around but there was no sign of the angel in the back seat of the Impala.

"Okay Dean, what are we doing?"

Dean glanced over at his brother as he popped a new tape into the player. "Looking for Cas."

"Yeah I know that. I just don't see how driving around the entire state is going to help us."

"We'll find him son. I wouldn't be surprised if Dean could find him based on their weird connection thing."

Sam snorted. "So we are just going to rely on their Spidey senses?"

"Yes we are. If anyone is going to find that son of a bitch, it's me." Dean glared through the downpour on the windshield.

"It's not like we have any other choice. If that dumb ass hadn't let him go we would know where he is right now and we could figure out what we are supposed to do to help the poor kid."

Dean rolled his eyes. "He's an angel Bobby. Not exactly a kid."

"Oh so that doesn't bother you when you get into bed with him?"

Dean's ears turned red as Sam looked pinched at the very idea of his older brother being capable of sexual activity. "Bobby!" Both brothers shouted before glancing at each other.

Dean gazed darkly over the road ahead as Sam continuously glanced over at him. "Look man, if we don't find him on the road then at least we know where he will be going."

"Oh and where will he be going, oh genius one?"

Sam looked pinched. "The gate. Where we tried to send all of those dicks back before. If it all started there wouldn't make sense that it would end there?"

Bobby nodded at him. "Good thing you have more'n half a brain in that head of yours son. We'll head that way now and hopefully find Cas on the way there."

"Hey I have half a brain-"

Sam snorted. "Nice Dean."

"Shut up bitch."

"Jerrrrrrk!" Sam punched Dean in the shoulder as they drove past a blinking motel sign.

Bobby's call nearly sent the other two into premature heart attacks. "Stop the damned car!" The breaks screeched as Dean tried to keep control over the Impala. Mud sprayed across the windshield and windows before Dean pulled into a stop. A figure lay deep in the mud, red hair spilling about her. Dean was out of the car in an instant, Bobby and Sam quick on his heels.

Pale skin was covered in mud. And something darker. As Dean leaned inwards for a closer inspection he realized that it was blood. The pool of it spread across the glistening road. He stepped back and glanced back at Sam. Bobby stepped over with a flash light and finally they were able to see her face. Anna.

"Anna? Hey Anna, it's Dean. You are going to be okay." Dean began to lift her up from the road when Sam put a large but gentle hand on his shoulder. Dark wings scratched over the slick asphalt.

"Son of a bitch." Dean passed a hand over her eyes and closed her eye lids. He sat back on his heels and felt the red hair spill over his shoulder. She was a mess. A thin hospital gown barely clothed her and it was dirty. Her fair skin was marred by what looked to be burns and old lacerations. Blood congealed in dark rows across her body.

"Dean…her skin…"

Dean nodded. "Yeah. Someone must have burned her."

Sam shook his head. "No Dean. Look. It's like when Cas was trying to play God and his vessel couldn't contain him any longer."

"I remember that." Dean nodded as the vision flashed through his head.

"_Sam…I heard your call." Castiel had gripped tightly onto the white paneling, blood dripping freely from the sleeves of his trench coat. He reeled as his hands slipped. Red trails smeared and finger prints contorted over a back ground of clean white._ _Across his once perfect skin were patched of angry red. But his eyes were as blue as ever. "I need help."_

Cas. Damn it Cas was going to die like this and Dean had let him wander off. He had to try again. Dean took in a deep breath and bowed his head. "Cas…wherever you are…can you try and zap out here? I know it takes a lot out of you these days and I get it. You aren't strong any more, Cas. You need to be here if you can…and I will take care of you. I let you go but I changed my mind. We will fix this. Together." Dean waited as Bobby and Sam glanced at him.

"Dean, he must be too weak to, you know, zap out here. We'll find him Son. We'll find him." Bobby pulled the younger man into his arms as Dean gripped onto his jacket like a small boy.

"What if he's already dead Bobby?"

Bobby pulled him in closer. "He ain't dead. Not yet any way. We just got to-"

Two pairs of angels materialized out of nowhere and knocked Bobby over. Castiel lay limp in Dean's arms and Gabriel covered Sam with mud and dirty dripping water.

"Cas? Gabriel?" Sam's eyebrows knitted together in concern as he helped the shorter angel to sit up. "It's alright. Take it easy Gabriel." Gabriel gave him a suggestive grin and opened his mouth to say something when he passed out. Sam barley caught him again before his head hit the asphalt.

Castiel spit out a mouthful of blood before he lurched forward in Dean's arms looking dazed. "Dean?"

"Cas, you came! Damn it I was worried sick about you, you dumb son of a bitch!" Dean pulled the shivering angel closer.

"Dean I-" Castiel stopped short and his dazed blue eyes snapped into focus. A river of red lay next to him and his sharp eyes took in the imprint on the ground. "No…" Castiel crawled over to the stiff form of his sister. "No…Anna!" He roughly forced her cold body into his shaking arms.

Dean glanced over at Sam who shrugged awkwardly, unsure what to do. Castiel's voice was rough and raw with emotion as he mumbled something in Enochian to himself.

"Cas, hey kid…she was already dead before. And I am sure she lived as good a life as any angel." Bobby rubbed his back between the wings as he watched the rain fall off of each feather.

"You don't understand- I am responsible for this. We have all been given second chances. Gabriel is alive…for all I know many of the siblings that were slain are once more alive. But Anna-"he brushed the tears out of his eyes as he ran a hand over her hair again and again.

Dean sat next to Castiel and ignored the that sprinkle of rain as it snuck into the last dry threads of his clothes. "I get that you want to blame this on yourself, I do. It won't fix anything Cas, believe me I know. You didn't kill her, something else did."

"But who unleashed the monsters who did kill her?" Blue eyes blazed as Castiel held his sister's cold body. "I as much as killed her. And the rest of my brothers." He nodded towards Gabriel. "Look at him Dean! Gabriel is next and before I can fix this-I-I will…Dean I will be dead too!"

"Don't you say that Cas, don't you dare say that." Castiel glanced away as Dean gripped his chin and forced his face towards his own. "Look at me, no damn it Cas look at me!" Castiel turned and Dean felt his own heart breaking. Cas looked small and lost, his eyes vacant. Dark circles traced them under eyelashes that had yet to catch the last of his tears.

Something wriggled under Anna's arm and Dean stomped on it instinctually. It made a horrible squelching sound under the heel of Dean's boot. "Sick things are still inside her." Others oozed out and tried to scamper away but many remained in oily looking puddles.

"I think they're dying. These Leviathans don't do very well without a host." Dean nodded at Sam as the watched Castiel stare mutely at a wriggling puddle.

"Sorry to say this now, but we need to get off the road." Bobby sat up and nodded at the boys. "Come on. Grab the angels." Bobby slowly lifted Anna up. "Dean, pull the car off the side of the road. We are going to need kerosene and a tinder box. Understand?"

Dean nodded slowly as he pulled Castiel to his feet. "I got you Cas. You come with me." Castiel nodded numbly as he gripped onto the man's stronger arm and let himself be led to the Impala. Sam followed Bobby with Gabriel in tow off to the side of the road and they disappeared into the trees.

Castiel let Dean lead him around the shady looking store. Dean grasped a small handful of lighters and threw them into a hand basket. He practically emptied the store of ace bandages and other medical supplies. Before switching from the over-laden handcart to one with four wheels. The back one squeaked with each turn to Dean's amusement. Dean took a glance over at Castiel. He sighed and took his hand around the corner and into the liquor isle. He figured he would need something strong. Really strong. But in the state Cas was in he wasn't sure if the angel could drink the entirety of a liquor store any more. Whiskey and vodka clinked into the hand cart.

A man stepped stood in their way as he fumbled with a button on his shirt. His face hid under a beard and Dean could smell the stink of many days of heavy drinking on him. He watched the pair as Dean maneuvered the cart around him muttering 'son of a bitch' irritably to himself. Blood dripped steadily to the ground and Castiel stumbled. Dean gripped him by the arm and led him away from the still staring man when he noticed that the trail of blood began at the front door.

"Hang in there Cas."

Dean rang up at the cash register as the attendant looked over their purchase with a grin.

"I hope you boys aren't using these items together. Vodka is a good mixer but not with kerosene and a book of matches." He pushed his hat back as he took note of Castiel's appearance. "What happened to you sonny? You need to get your friend to a hospital, not drink up my hard alcohol. You boys already drunk?"

"Thanks." Dean ignored the man's words and quickly counted out the right amount of bills before he tightened his grip on the handle of the cart and pushed it outside. The night dripped quietly from trees but the down pour hadn't began again. Castiel shivered in his wet clothes and Dean realized then that he was cold as well. He helped Castiel into the passenger side of the Impala. The trunk was loaded and they drove off quickly as the cashier nodded towards the no longer drunk looking man.

The cashier dialed a number on his phone and waited impatiently for it to ring. "Hello sir. We found them."

"The Winchesters? Outstanding!" Dick's charismatic voice exploded through the phone as the cashier looked nervous.

"We found the angel Castiel as well."

A smile was practically heard on the other end. "Fine work boys. Let him go. Glad to hear that they are in motion once more."

"Ummm sir? The angel doesn't look like he will hold up much longer. His body is going to destroy itself before he reaches the gate!"

Silence. "He'd better make it. Most of my other angels have let me down already. My money is still on him. Tail them and ensure that Castiel makes his journey safe and sound."

"Of course sir. We understand."

.

Five forms stood around the pyre with mud on their hands and boots. The damp earth hadn't made their task any easier. It took at least an hour to clear away sweet smelling pines needles and to dig into drier dirt. No one said anything as Bobby slowly poured a jug of pungent liquid over the lifeless form of the angel. Castiel dropped Dean's hand and stepped forward as he locked eyes with Gabriel. Gabriel nodded to him. With the delicate twitch of his wrist Castiel dropped a lighter onto the wood pile even as Gabriel mirrored him. Flames blazed and twisted as they crawled eagerly into red hair.

"Good bye sister."


	10. The Silence Before the Storm

**Hey gang, here is your next chapter! Thank you very much you lovely reviewers and favoritors! **

**The Mysterious Shadow- Hmmm…I know! Fish sticks! Did you see that one Spongebob episode where the fish get turned into fish sticks and the fish sells them? (the fry cook games episode where it is like the Olympics?)**

**Casismyfavorite- Don't worry, the angels can't get their asses handed to them without some high class smitting!**

**Stephanswifey01-Why thank you :D Yeah Dick is a…dick. **

**rEdRoSeSiNaUgUsT- Haha thanks! I like fluff but I can't seem to write anything that doesn't have some storm clouds hanging around all the sunshine and rainbows :D**

**Ventorum- Hmmm smarmy, I do like that. Yeah, don't worry, I swear some epic show downs are coming up so things won't be **_**as **_**suspenseful!**

"The Silence Before the Storm"

Thunder rumbled in the distance. Many things had happened this night and it refused to remain quiet. Wind howled and searched desperately for an entrance into the old motel. The sign hadn't work right in years. Sometimes the owner sent someone in to patch things up. He had gotten too old to fix the roof leaks that always seemed to appear just in time for the rainy season. Someone in a fancy truck got the sign to work for about a week when a cheap bulb went out. That was the way luck seemed to run in the small town. Things crapped out on you and you tried to fix them for a while. You tried to fix things that could never seem to get truly fixed or remain that way.

Questions that were usually asked were left unsaid; besides the basics. Do you take credit? Yes, ID please. The old man was either desperate for their business or couldn't see well enough to take in the full picture of the group requesting lodging from the storm. They were drenched and smelled of the wet dirt that weighed down their pant legs. Blood dripped in unhealthy dark drips onto the old carpet but the man gave them his keys. Gabriel dozed on a rumpled bed in the suite while Sam tried to tune the TV to any station at all. He slammed his hand against the small television set and the gray lines disappeared before wiggling across once more like worms slipping their quick bodies away from the light. Dean poured amber liquid from a bottle almost as old as the little motel. The lamp flickered nearby but stubbornly remained a pale yellow in the room.

"Damned thing won't work?"

"No man." Sam shook his head tiredly. "The cable is shot. I would read up on some news but with this storm I don't want my laptop to get burned." He took a glass from Dean.

Dean stretched and pulled Castiel to his feet. "Then go check the desk for a newspaper. We're going to take a shower. Come on Cas."

Sam looked pinched. "Dean, you know you can't take a shower in the middle of a thunderstorm. And I already checked. The last issue was from May."

"Says who? I stink and I am sure we all would feel better if we weren't sitting around sniffing each other's stank butts."

"It was on _Myth Busters_. Lightening can kill you in the shower." Sam looked embarrassed.

Dean paused. "Seriously Sammy? _Myth Busters_? You watch that nerdy crap and then look righteous whenever I watch Doctor Sexy?"

Dean was treaded to one of Sam's specialty bitch faces. "Whatever Dean. At least what I watch is educational."

"What and I haven't learnt anything from Doctor Sexy? I will inform your Samsquatch ass that I now know twelve elevator sex positions. Twelve Sammy!"

"Dean, just don't go in there." Dean glanced over at Castiel for his opinion but the angel's hand remained limp in his own, his gaze indicating that his brain was currently somewhere else.

"We're going. As far as I know Bobby hasn't died yet and he is in there now. If that son of a bitch doesn't get out soon, then he will have to worry about dying in the shower." Dean rapped loudly on the door. "Bobby! Get hell out of there, it better not be cold!"

"Shut your yapper you idiot." Bobby came out of the shower wrapped only in a towel and the Winchester boys both nearly vomited.

Dean looked pale. "Jesus Bobby, put it away! I do not think your tractor is sexy!"

"Shut up Dean. I've seen your naked ass more than anyone should ever have to." Bobby grumbled and went into the adjoining room.

Dean shrugged. "Looks like Grandpa is going to bed early."

"I may be old but I'm not deaf you dumbass!" Bobby slammed the door as Dean and Sam laughed. Gabriel snored on and Cas had not returned to planet earth yet.

"Come on baby." Castiel snapped back into reality and nodded as he let Dean lead him into the bathroom.

The water was still warm and Dean was relieved. He let the water run over his hand before nodding at his angel. Castiel stood staring at the blood as it dripped at his feet. Dean gently pulled him closer and slowly pulled of the dirty trench coat. He laid it over the towel rack. Castiel slipped out of Dean's too large shirt and jeans. Dean took in a sharp breath at the damage that had been done to his body since he had last seen him. Painful red rips in his skin gently oozed over flesh that could no longer heal. His fair skin was bruising. Purple and blue so dark it was almost black snaked over his ribs where it met with angry red burns. Dean figured that it looked like Castiel had someone beat the crap out of him, but he knew that the battle was internal. The monsters were there. In the same room as the hunter and his angels the Leviathans sang shrilly in his blood and tormented his weakened body.

Dean, feeling ill with sympathy, tugged on Castiel's arm gently and led him into the water. Warm red droplets jumped into the drain. Castiel tilted his head up to the spray of water and Dean was relieved to see the slight pleased smile grow. He opened his mouth in surprise when Dean quickly switched the water too cold. He frowned in confusion and tilted his head in an attempt to understand why the device as no longer working properly. Cas was so damn cute sometimes.

"I love you Cas." Dean wrapped an arm around his thin waist and used the other to reheat the water.

Castiel eyed his motions still frowning. "I would say the same, I would but I now know that it was you who made the water become not so temperate."

Dean pretended to look distraught. "Come on Cas, it wasn't me, looks like Bobby took most of the hot water after all."

A small smile twitched at Castiel's lips and he bumped his forehead against Dean's. The man's strong arms supported him and Castiel remained in his arms as the water began to chill of its own accord. Cold water splashed against the angel's face. Suddenly he was on his knees retching black blood into the drain.

"Son of a bitch! Cas!" Dean wrapped his arms around the angel and plugged up the drain. Black worm-like squiggles bashed against the blockade and some of them burst angrily. Dark droplets reformed and made the attack once more. Dean dragged the angel out of the shower and threw a towel over his heaving shoulders as he spit out a mouthful of darkness.

"Shit shit shit!" Dean hurried around the room and stopped in front of the sink. He fell on his knees and rooted around frantically in the cabinet before retrieving a bottle of strong floor cleaning soap. Dean twisted the cap off and threw it on the ground. He looked at the back for a moment before just dumping the entire contents into the bath tub. He pulled away the shower curtain as black lines inched towards it. The entire bathroom smelled of fresh laundry as the last black blob swelled up, twitched, and then promptly exploded. Castiel leaned against the wall panting and looking spent. The spell had passed.

"Cas, are you okay?" Castiel nodded. The pool next to him was bright red. Dean sighed. It hurt to see so much of his angel's blood but it looked like the monsters were at bay for now.

Castiel nodded slowly. "I believe I am." He held up his arm and Dean wrapped his hand around the thin wrist.

Dean helped Castiel out of the room as Sam glanced up and away quickly. "What?" Sam stared intently at the old newspaper he was now pretending to read. "What?"

"Nothing Dean." Sam cleared his throat and flipped out the pages of the newspaper.

Dean tried to share a look with Castiel. When his attempt of course failed, he sighed. "Spit it out bitch, why are you being so jumpy?"

"Oh umm." Sam's face went bright red. "Can you just…turn down the volume if we are going to be rooming together?" Dean opened his mouth in indignation. "No, look, I get that you two are together and that's nice. But I don't need to know about it."

Dean looked incredulous at Sam before bursting out laughing. "Damn it Sammy, we weren't doing anything! Cas was sick again and chomper babies were everywhere."

"Oh." Sam looked embarrassed. "Sorry man, I just…" He looked almost humiliated at Castiel. "I'm sorry Cas." Castiel nodded graciously at him in forgiveness before collapsing on the opposite bed.

"I like your thinking Sammy." Dean winked and grinned suggestively.

Sam looked pinched. "Whatever Dean. I'm just saying that…if that ever happens…we are getting separate rooms, no suites. I wouldn't even feel clean after a shower if…that happened."

Dean chuckled as he tried to fix the fuzzy TV once more. "I get it." Dean gave up and got dressed as a miffed Sam snapped his newspaper again.

Sam gave up on re-reading the old news and planted the newspaper on the night stand. "I'm taking a shower."

"What about all the scary lightening?" Dean unrolled part of the package of ace bandages and started to patch up Cas. "Maybe you should wake up sleepy over there." He nodded towards Gabriel. "He looks like he's more than half dirt right now."

"Look outside. I think the lightening stopped." Sam gently shook Gabriel's shoulder. "Hey man, are you alright?" Gabriel stretched like a cat before rolling over onto his other side. Sam looked to Dean for help but his brother simply gave him a useless shrug. Sam shuffled closer. "Gabriel?" The archangel cracked an eye at Castiel and winked before pretending to sleep once more. Sam's face got really close and Gabriel used the opportunity to give him a loud smack on the cheek.

"Here to wake up sleeping beauty I presume?" Gabriel tucked a hand under his chin and winked. "Come on big boy!" He held out his arms to Sam who looked pinched.

"I thought you were dead!" Sam stormed away as Gabriel looked surprised.

"Why didn't you check instead of sulking around like an overgrown moose? Sheesh and he acts like it's my fault." Castiel shook his head fondly at his brother as Dean tucked the two of them into the adjacent bed.

Sam turned. "Maybe I wouldn't have though you were dead if you didn't smell like you were." He slammed the bathroom door shut.

"I think he likes me." Gabriel waggled his eyebrows at his roommates before zapping. Cas and Dean looked dismayed until they herd Sam's furious shouts in the bathroom.

"He should not be doing that." Castiel curled his smaller body around Dean's.

Dean planted a soft kiss on Castiel's neck. "What, tormenting poor Sammy?"

"Zapping…as you call it. Our powers are not working as they should. It is dangerous."

Dean trailed his hand over Castiel's back. "I know baby. We are pretty close to…the place where you-where we opened purgatory. In a day or two we will send those ass clowns back home and I am sure you will be back to your happy smite-ing self."

"I do not think I will ever comprehend how you throw logic out the window to comfort someone." Castiel lightly wrapped his fingers around Dean's. "Somehow it works."

Dean grinned and tilted Castiel's chin up as he kissed him. Castiel felt so fragile in his arms. Dean wished there was a way to take on some of his angel's pain but he knew that this was all he could do for him. He would hold him in the lonely darkness. Dean listened to the angel's roughened breathing and felt something trickle down the angel's cheek.

"Cas?" Dean rubbed his thumb lightly over Castiel's cheek. "Are you crying?" The angel shivered and buried his face into Dean's armpit. "Are you still thinking about Anna?" Castiel's messy brown hair tickled as he nodded.

Dean kissed him before slipping out of bed. Two glasses clinked together as Dean held them in one hand. He filled one and then the other as he felt his angel's curious blue eyes follow him around the room. Dean passed Castiel a glass.

"I cannot imbibe in alcohol."

Dean smiled. "Yes you can. I recall a certain angel I know that got very smashed once. What was that joke about "breeding with the mouth of a goat?"

Castiel glanced shamefaced at the glass between his hands. "I was recalling that as well. That is why I will not-"

"Hey you cute little son of a bitch. I'm here and I won't let you get that bad okay? This is to take some of the edge off so you can get some sleep. I won't let you embarrasses yourself, but you do that a lot while sober."

Castiel offered him a small smile and set his glass down in a flash on the bedside table. Soon the hunter and his angel put away most of what Dean had purchased at the convenient store. Sam, wearing only a bitch face and a towel steered a sullen looking Gabriel into the room. Gabriel's skin was pink from beings washed with a firm hand and he looked miserable.

Gabriel pouted on the bed the entire time Sam bandaged him up. "Go to sleep."

"But they aren't." Gabriel nodded towards Dean and Cas as the two burst out laughing at nothing.

"Is your name Dean or Castiel?" Sam put his hands on his hips.

Gabriel frowned. "No way Moose."

"Then get your butt to bed. Enough you two." Sam collected the empty bottles and dumped them in the trash. He peeled the glasses out of their hands.

"Come on Sam!" Dean swayed.

"You have had enough."

Castiel hiccupped and smiled at Sam. "I love you."

"Uhhh yeah Cas. Thank you." Sam pulled back the blankets and tucked them in. "Go to sleep."

Castiel nodded looking peaceful. Sam glanced over at Gabriel and saw he was already out cold. He nodded business-like before sitting in a chair to read some more. When Sam fell asleep Bobby came in to check on his boys. He lifted Sam out of the chair and tucked him in, which wasn't the easiest of feats. He looked from one set of boy and angel to the other and smiled fondly. "Idgits."

He knew that tomorrow night would not be this peaceful. The rip in the wall would be opened once more and the earth would be exposed to the quiet sneaking things that lived in purgatory. It was time to do this right and Bobby hoped locking the angels in purgatory would not be the answer. His boys wouldn't be able to take it. Bobby glanced over at the sleeping Castiel and shook his head. He didn't even know if he would be able to watch that poor angel die again. He was now one of his boys. Bobby slipped out of the room to try and get some sleep before the sunlight demanded that the next day begin.


End file.
